Fall into Wreath Obsession

With extra yet unpredictable time on my hands, I spend way too much time browsing the internet. These leads to swooning over crafty blogs. [I know. I know. There's dishes to be done, laundry to fold and a house to pick up, but that can't be done 1-handed while holding a demanding beautiful babe like surfing the internet can!] Note: all but one of my posts in the past 32 days, including this one, has been typed one handed! :)

The One-Handed Cause
I don't mind too much! :)

Back on track: Something I stumbled upon is Pinterest. I really have no idea how it works or how to use it but I knew a couple friends have talked about it, so I headed over there and searched their names. Stalker-ish, eh? Anyways, I came across adorable Fall wreaths and then hundreds a lot of blogs/crafty sites with tutorials of gorgeous wreaths. Hence the trip to the craft stores upon Mister's arrival home from work!

I remembered that we had a couple yards of burlap from my grandparents' garage sale--gotta love those "I'll find something to do with this some day" pick-ups--so as Ains snuggled with Chris on the couch I sprawled out with my supplies on the floor.

Fall Decoring Supplies
Fabric Remnants, Ribbon, Leaves, Wreath

At first I thought I was going to make a Fall wreath like the one on this site and then some flowers like the ones on this site. [I like the overall consistency and look of the burlap flowers on the burlap wreath, but didn’t find any other color burlap in the remnant section at the fabric stores.] So that's what I set out to do. Well as with so many of my projects, I found something different I liked better, on accident! I read about how to best cut burlap straight and I followed that tutorial. I realized though that as I went to pull the burlap strand out to create my guide, I liked the effect that it had on the burlap and made a ruffled look. Nevertheless I pulled it all the way out and cut the strip. Then I got to thinking that it'd be prettier if I had the ruffle since my wreath was pretty small. So that's what I set out to do, and here's the jist of how I did it.

Supplies:
Wreath [Mine was a skinny little thing from the Dollar Store]
Burlap
Scrap Fabric for Flowers
Hot Glue Gun [I don't know how I've gone this long without owning one!]

Using the method for cutting a straight strip of burlap, I cut a strip of burlap 2.5" and then wrapped it around my wreath. [I read that if you purchase a straw wreath, to leave the plastic on it so it makes it easier to wrap. This is especially important if you wrap the wreath with yarn!] I needed two strips to wrap all the way around my 13" wreath, securing it with dots of hot glue.

Burlap wrapped Dollar Store Wreath

Then I cut two 5" strips of the burlap. These are the ones that I made the ruffle with. At the 2.5" mark I pulled the string of burlap, careful not to break the string so that I would be able to tie it and "hold" the ruffle. I then secured the ruffle onto the burlap covered wreath using my glue gun.

The next step was to make some flowers. Using a couple Fall-colored fabrics, I set out to make a couple different styles. The first one I made was what's called a button flower by some sites. Basically you cut 8 circles of the same size. [I used the top of an oversized coffee mug as a template.] Then with each circle, you fold it in half and then in half again. [You now have a quarter-circle. Use glue as needed to hold the fabric together.] I used a little scrap of felt to glue 4 of the quarters onto. Then with the remaining 4 quarters, stagger the top layer. The flower can be topped with a button for its center, hence the name. [You can check out The Ribbon Retreat for a full, better tutorial.]

Basic explanation of button & poufy flowers

I made this type of flower in 2 different sizes, but instead of using a button for the center, I ended up putting the one flower on the other and then "finishing" the top flower using the Poufy Flower method. I couldn't get the 9th circle to look as nicely as The Ribbon Retreat ladies could, so I gave it a little help by gluing it where necessary to give it the look I desired.

Poufy Flower Layered on Button Flower

Finally I made two other flowers [brown & yellow] using the rosette method describe by this site. Basically you made a knot at the end of a piece of 2-3" folded fabric and then wrap the fabric around the knot creating the rosette. One thing that I didn't notice when following the tutorials was the suggest to glue as you wrap as needed. I didn't do this, and so I just had to hold tight as I wrapped. next time I'll definitely use the glue every so often method!

Rosette Flowers

The last thing to do is to position the flowers how ever I liked!

Finished Product
inside our house!

I hung the wreath on the inside of our front door. I figured it'd get more appreciation because we have an ugly screen door with flowered gating aka completely blocking the wreath.

After this project, I'm pretty such that I'll be making a wreath for every season! :)

Last but not least, yesterday was Ainsley Jo's 1 month birthday, so we had to take a couple pics! I'm hoping to take a pic every month in a white onesie on the chair to document her growth. Hopefully I stick to it! :)

She wasn't the [most] cooperative!

Cookie Dough Cupcakes

Caution: This post is actually not about Ainsley! I know it's hard to believe since all posts in the past 4 weeks have solely been about her. This one is about another one of my favorite things: food! :)

So I have a friend who is a baking goddess. She makes delicious food, period, but her desserts are absolutely lovely! This past Saturday, Chris, Ains and I as well as another couple went over to her house for socializing the Buckeye's game. We made homemade pizza from garlicy, cheesy bread to "regular" pizza with all kinds of toppings and then also a dessert pizza--apple streusel! It was all very good. Later she offered some cupcakes that she had made for another occasion. Yes, please! I chose to indulge in a cookie dough cupcake, complete with a chunk of cookie dough in the middle! Yum! Yum! Sara definitely has a knack for cupcakes!

So that was my inspiration for making some cupcakes of my own. And what kind of cupcakes would I make, you ask? Of course that would be chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes! These weren't "from scratch" but close enough to be much more than the funfetti bakery that I usual stick to! ;) [Isn't there a cooking show about taking boxed items and doctoring them up a bit for a nice/delicious touch?! That's what this is!]

So for the cupcakes, I used a regular box of white cake mix and instead of following the directions on the back, I doctored it up a it based on this website's suggestions. [Note: I was originally drawn to this site because of their free fonts and other blog design suggestions, so check them out!] Without going to the site, you can make a doctored up version of any cake mix by adding the following to the cake mix:

1 sm. box of instant pudding, just the powder DON'T prepare it [I used vanilla.]
1 c. sour cream
1 c. vegetable oil
4 eggs, beaten
1/2 c. milk
1 tsp. vanilla

They also suggestion 2 c. of mini chocolate chips, but that was for chocolate cake so I skipped that suggestion.

Doctoring up ingredients!

You think mix everything together to make a thick batter [stir in the chocolate chips at the very end] and then bake. You can use the timing on the cake mix box as a suggestion. It was accurate for cupcakes. :)

So I scooped the batter into cupcake liners about half full [at first I put in more but it overflowed a bit after the cookie dough and baking. I then put a chunk of frozen chocolate chip cookie dough in each cupcake. It's important to use frozen cookie dough so that the dough doesn't bake along with the batter.

Chris helping putting in the frozen
cookie dough chunks.

I then put a teensy bit of batter on the cookie dough so it would be completely concealed. [I didn't do this at first either, but as a result I think the heat of the oven got to the cookie dough and baked it a bit which caused it to "cave in" a bit. This resulted in filling the cave with frosting to it didn't look funny. I guess that's not a bad thing. :) ]

Pre-baked goodness.

Speaking of frosting, for chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes, I had to make some cookie dough frosting. I used this site's recipe for cookie dough buttercream. It was pretty easy to make and according to Chris, it was what almost made the cupcake. Note that the butter needs to be at room temperature. So you'll need to set this out before you make the cupcakes so you don't have to wait as long. Or you can take a break to breastfeed your demanding 4-week old. It takes about the same time! If you choose the latter make sure you have a great husband to take out the baked cupcakes when that untimely timer goes off. :)

Cookie Dough Butter Cream

3 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 c. light brown sugar, packed
3.5 c confectioners'/powdered sugar
1 c. all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp. salt
3 tbsp. milk
2.5 tsp. vanilla extract

To make it, beat the butter and brown sugar until creamy. It takes a couple minutes. Mix in the powdered sugar until smooth. Then beat in the flour and salt. Finally mix in the milk and vanilla until it's all smooth and blended. Top your cooled cupcakes!

Final product, in awful lighting!

After the frosting was made and the cupcakes were cooled, I topped the cupcakes and then I put a few chocolate chips for the aesthetic appeal. After they were all iced and topped, Chris and I each enjoyed one with lots of milk! Chris said they were really good, and I thought they were good as well! Not as good as Sara's but that will take a lot more practicing. ;)

My handsome taste-tester.

Even though I wasn't responsible for snacks last night at TFC--I mistakenly thought I was Sunday night which was a reason that I made them--I still took them along for the leaders and our hostess home family. If I didn't, Goal #16 would never be accomplished. No one seemed to mind my little mistake and I even received a text from a leader about ten minutes after leaving that read, "Those cupcakes are AWESOME!! ;)" And my parents didn't seem to have a problem enjoying them as well. Not bad "payment" for watching Ainsley while we were at TFC, I'm sure!

So try them out! And check out Sara's blog for some to drool over delicious recipes!

Dear Ainsley [Week 4]

Oh Ainsley!

You are now 4 weeks old and you've changed oh so much! Papa Bear and I have already spent time looking at your newborn pics and reminiscing how different life was 3.5 weeks ago! This week I want to highlight some milestones, so to speak, that you've accomplished.

You've discovered your voice.

Exercising your voice while wearing a
shirt that reads "my daddy makes me smile"!
:)

Prior to this week, you cried maybe a handful of times when you were hungry. but this week. you put your lungs to the test on several occasions. Your dad and I are still trying to figure out what your cries always mean, but that's going to take much more studying! :-) Most of the time, it's gas. (This is both reassuring--nothing is really wrong-- and frustrating--not much we can do to help!)

You have projectile spit-up.

Last Saturday (on your 3 week birthday) we were leaving wedding number 4. You were all strapped in to Grandmomma-cita's Lexus and we decided that would be a good time to show your new talent. I was afraid you'd choke on it so quickly got you out of your carseat--in hindsight this was a silly fear as it was afterall projectile vomit. It wasn't staying in your mouth to cause choking. Oh well, I got to hold you a bit and wear a bit of it myself! Oh, and good thing has leather seats Grandmomma loves you because it wiped clean and you can't even tell! Since then you've showed this skill a couple times since Saturday-- namely when Papa gave you a bottle while you were laying down. Bad life decision. All 5 ounces that went "down" came right back up! Forgive us too that we just put a bath towel over the damage instead of changing all the sheets that late at night!

We had a great week feeding.

Without many details, because I know others don't care to read about them, feeding you has been much more pleasureable! This is more of a relief that you will ever know... until you become a mom of course!

You're growing like a weed!

Great Grandma Cow, Ainsley, Sondra,
Grandmomma-cita & Stuart on
Grandmomma's 29th Birthday!

On Tuesday we celebrate Grandmomma's birthday with your aunt, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, and while you didn't enjoy the finger-lickin' chicken or specialty cheesecakes we did break out the baby scale and you weighed 10 lbs. 8 oz. already! That's just under a pound in only 4 days! This makes the mild discomfort of feeding you all worth it!

You like your momma!

4 weeks 1 day
Forgot to take a pic on Saturday between
the birthday party and OSU get together!

Now this may seem silly to mention because of course you like me! I mean who else feeds you around the clock, changes so many of your diaps--okay your dad probably changes more than I do--and is pretty much at your beckon call?! Well no one else of course, but there is something nice knowing that I am able to comfort you pretty much the best. Now at midnight when I'm ready for bed and you're fussing with Papa, I wish I didn't have that "skill", but nevertheless, I enjoy it. Especially last week it was difficult because I was feeling like I always had to do the dirty work aka feed you [uncomfortably], change you and comfort you and then once you were content someone was always "stealing" you so I didn't feel like I was getting to enjoy you as much as everyone else. Now though I don't have those feeling so much and simply enjoy those cuddling, comforting times.

Well baby girl, after four weeks life is pretty good, so I guess we'll keep you! ; )

Love you!
Your Momma

Dear Ainsley [Week 3]

Dear Ainsley,
I continue to love you more and more each day. You are so beautiful and perfect in every way and I know it's just beginning to bud, but already your little personality is developing.

Thursday we went to school [after I changed clothes because you squirted yellow poo all over me, again] so I could check in with my sub show you off and my coworkers were captivated by your beauty. I'm ready to go back to school because teaching is a passion of mine and I want to ensure my students are getting the best possible education, but I can't imagine leaving you yet. Even for just an hour I'm afraid I'd have some separation anxiety! I'm sure you'd be a champ, as you are a champ at everything! Too bad you can't be my personal assistant and come with me when I have to go back in less than a month! :S

After being at school, we had your '2 week' appointment. This week, especially in the middle of the  night when I'd need to pick you up to feed you and I was too lazy to sit up to do so, I could really tell that you had grown. The Doctor confirmed this thought and said you are growing in every way! You weighed in at 9 lbs. 12 oz.--a full 1 lb. 7 oz. increase since your appointment when you were but 5 days old-- and you have increased in length/height by 3/4 of an inch! Part of this was such a relief, not because I was afraid that you weren't growing since I could feel that, but because I was encouraged and reminded that I was the one who has been providing all that nutrition for you to grow like a lil' weed! Outside of a few drops of glucose water in the hospital, you haven't had a bit of nutrition [does gluclose water count as nutrition anyways?!] that hasn't came from me. I needed this bit of encouragement. It's a honor to be the one who feeds you and provides for you in that way, but it hasn't been easy nor enjoyable all the time. "It's not supposed to hurt" but yowzers, you're a little beracuda at times and your start up is a bit painful at times. Thankfully this is continuing to get better and just when I want to throw in the towel,  you are a champ and eat well painfree. I appreciate that, it's like you somehow know when I need things the most and you pull through for me.

Speaking of things I appreciate and your "sixth sense", even this morning your papa bear and I were praising you because of how great of a babe you are! Despite your momma not feeling so hot and only being able to feed you for a bit of time, you were content and peaceful until the next 3 hours had passed and it was time to eat again. This gave momma plenty of time to hang out on the pot try to make myself feel better! Your papa made the comment this morning that you make being a parent easy, and baby girl, it's still holding true. Do you sleep through the night, patiently wait to be fed after speaking that you're getting hungry, and then change your own diap? [That would make being a parent of a newborn super easy!] Not so much. You still wake every 4th hour ate night, sometimes your meal time is proceeded with some impatient wailing, and you poop on me instead of in your diaper, but all things considered you are one easy 3-week old precious baby girl!

Snuggled up in comfy clothes after another wedding!

Your papa and I love you to the moon and back and we are so thankful that we are your parents!

Momma & Ainsley Jo
3 weeks old

All my love baby girl.

Momma

P.S. Thanks to your feeding schedule, your papa and I were up at your official 3-week birthday and wished you a happy day at 3:17 a.m. this morning! :)

Goal #41 "Tuesday" Night Questions

41. Answer Tuesday Night Questions consistently for 12 weeks.

One of the things that we talked about when we celebrated our 2nd Anniversary was ways to stay connected and in love for a very long time. [Good goal, eh?] Well I mentioned in my anniversary post about a blog that had some wonderful ideas. This is where Tuesday Night Questions came into play. [Tuesdays is simply what worked for us initially. It's just a coincidence that the original source used Tuesday's too.] Since Ainsley's birth, Chris hasn't worked Wednesday morn

I liked the questions that the couple asked each other and felt like they pretty much covered everything--or at least were conversation starters to cover other topics that needed to be covered. So for the last 12 weeks, Chris and I have been intentional about setting aside time to ask each other the following 4 questions:

1. How did you feel loved this past week?
2. What does your upcoming week look like?
3. How would you feel most loved & encouraged in the days ahead? [Need motivation for anything?]
4. How would you feel best pursued in sex/intimacy this week?

They aren't super profound, but they help to make sure that we're on the same page and each other's needs/wants are being met. It's also a time to show appreciation for your needs/wants being met [particularly through question #1].

One thing that came up in a recent conversation was that Mister felt like his creative love was getting a bit dusty and needed to use it a bit more. Well that he did!

Yesterday morning after all three of us slowly woke, we headed out for a walk to the park. Mister had made a scroll [scrolls have become pretty significant in our relationship] and he wanted to go there to give it to me. It was an absolutely beautiful Fall day so I was all about the walk. [There's a park about 3ish blocks from our house.] We loaded Ains in the stroller and headed out the door.

Taking in the Fall beauty and chatting away, we were about 3/4 of the way there when Chris suddenly stopped. "Uh, I lost it." The scroll that he had put in his back pocket was no longer there. We looked where we were and then headed back towards our house to find it. There wasn't great significance in being at the park when I read it, so once we found it [5 houses from our house] we just headed back home and he gave it to me there.

As you can see, the scroll was dropped pretty close to our house. Not so close to the park. :)

Mister with his/my scroll.

Sitting on the front porch, I read the words written directly from his heart to mine:

And Then There Were Three...

When we began our journeY all I was thinking abOut was the two of Us, together, forever. Ah what bliss I pictured us togetheR! I may have imaginEd the journey with kids somewhere in the mix, but it wAs mostly just the two of us walking hand-in-hand through life.

Of course, as our journey proGressed I began to entertain the amazing thought of Raising a family with you, and the joy of that prospect drEw us onto that part of the journey.

No longer is it just you And me walking through life hand-in-hand, seeing whaT kind of adventures we can get ourselves into. Now it's you and me and Ainsley, wakling hand-in-hand-on-stroller. And I love it!

I wouldn't trade it for just the two of us. Getting to see your warM tenderness with our daughter is whAt I consider pure bliss now. Seeing how you care for her as you nurse her is really aMazing! Watching you selflessly chAnge diapers, pump extra milk, take time away from teaching, give up sleep to keep her fed and clean: what a great start Ainsley is getting Because of you.

I fall more in lovE with you as I see you do these things. I am so fortunAte to be on this journey with you.

Thank you my beautiful bride and perfect mama bear!

Love,

Papa Bear

9-13-11

Notice the bolded capital letters, just like in his "asking out" scroll, they had their own message. 

We continued in meaningful, intentional conversation before heading in to pack up to go to his parents' house. We were going to be learning some basics of canning by making grape jelly! And I think Grandma & Grandpa Massie wanted to see lil' Ainsley! :)

And Then There Were Three...

This is just an example of the good that has come out of our Tuesday Night Questions. I appreciate and feel cherished when Chris expresses himself in this way and he also feels like he's tapping into various aspects of his personality by showing love in this way. [I hope that part about him makes sense. He really does enjoy it. It's not all about me! :)]

So if you aren't taking time to connect with your spouse, I highly suggest that you start now, even if you've been married for decades! I hope to keep this habit a habit for many years to help me stay best connected to my best friend.

P.S. I've hit 5,007 blog views in the history of this blog! Thanks for checking it out and reading it! I hope you [whoever you are] enjoy the glimpse into our ordinary life that we try to live out extraordinarily. I always find it fascinating, and an honor, when I see people out and about and they tell me that they read my blog. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy lives to read about ours. :)

Goal #1 Accomplished!

Goal #1: No fast food for a month—including drinks *cough* McDonald’s Sweet Tea.


Accomplished.

I would never say that I have been a fast food junkie, but I did eat more than is healthy--which would be any, right?! I would go on spurts where I'd eat it more often than other times [such as a span of about 2 weeks when I would regularly swing by McDonalds for a breakfast sandwich and the largest cup of OJ I could get them to serve me!] Every once in a while I have a craving for a fake hamburger--that's what I like to call hamburgers from fast food joints because, really how much hamburger do you think makes them up--but usually what draws me to a fast food drive-thru is a thirst quenching drink!


So for the month of July, I made it my goal to have no fast food for the entire month. But on July 20th after a discouraging doctor's appointment, my sweet husband brought home a large Sweet Tea from McDonalds. On several occasions, I really wanted a Sweet Tea from Mickey D's, but I withheld but not this day! I enjoyed every last drop! And then we had a huge garage sale down in Greenville at my grandparent's house the last weeknd of July. Lunchtime came around and we decided Subway was on the menu. After enjoying my 6" Club on Italian Herb & Cheese bread, "Dang it! I just ate fast food!" went through my head.

Along came August and I actually stuck to this goal! All 31 days of it! Thankfully I didn't put "no fast food or fair food" or I'd be working on this goal in September! :) It was harder than I thought to keep this goal, simply due to when I was out and about and really thirsty I had to resist the temptation of a Sweet Tea or other $1 mega-large drink! And there were a couple times that I just wanted a fake burger between meals that would've held me over to real meal time but just like they taught us in DARE, "Just say no!"

Innocence of a Child

The past couple weeks especially I have observed something I find very interesting:


The innocence/carefreeness* of a child--and the lack thereof.


Two Saturdays ago we were at my friend's mom's wedding and the bride's son was a dancing machine. This 10-ish year-old was so happy in general, but he was also definitely cuttin' a rug with those dance moves! He didn't care who was--or wasn't--dancing with him, he had a move for every beat and was having a blast! [And we were all having a blast watching him!] After a couple songs, he had enlisted 2 of his friends to dance the night away as well, but it was clear that he was the leader as the other two were 'taking' dance moves from him! We called it a night relatively early [it's amazing how babe's do that to you!] but even as we were leaving, Jordan was still tearing it up!


Fast forward to this past Saturday. We were at my cousin's wedding reception [yes, this marked wedding #3 for Ainsley already, we have just one more this coming Saturday]. Here there was another "Jordan" tearing up the dance floor. A little girl, probably about ten [I'm not real sure as she was from the bride's side], who was a serious dancer! It didn't matter what the song or the genre, she had moves for it! For most songs, she even knew the words and were belting those out as well! Now the week before with Jordan and the other boys, they were dacning their hearts out, but their dance moves were pretty much the same from song to song--disco, shaking booties, etc.--not this girl. Her moves actually coordinated with the music being played! This girl was also a blast to watch! After several songs there were two other little girls [sisters] that joined the Dancing Queen. One one probably 8 or 9 and the other about 4.


Here's where it got kind of interesting. The Dancing Queen [that's what I'm going to name her to protect her identity since I don't know her name] tried to get the older sister to dance all crazily like she was, but the older sister, who was willing to dance, didn't seem like she wanted to dance like that. She even seemed to try to "tame down" the dancing queen by holding her arms down when she wanted to swing them up in the air [like she jus' don't care!] Later I noticed the older sister trying to hold the yonger sister's hands and "control" her dance moves as well. Lil' sis was dancing like the Dancing Queen or like you would expect a carefree 4-year-old to dance! The big sister was unsuccessful here as well and every once in awhile, I noticed she was dancing a little crazily too! :)


Okay, now it's Sunday. Mister, Ains and I were walking strolling to church and a few houses down there were two little kids playing outside with what had once been a big cardboard box--it was now a big unfolded piece of cardboard, perfect for each to wrap around themselves and "drive" the other one around. Of course the person in the backseat had to be facing backwards for this to work! ;) As we approached them on the sidewalk, they were having a great time and just about to switch drivers. It was almost as if the older sister--this time about 5 and the little brother was about 4--suddenly was too old to be doing what she was doing, especially in front of strangers. She looked at us and kind of rolled her eyes and said, "My brother wants me to do this!" About that time the little boy took off crazily running and about left big sis in the dust. We told the little girl that it was okay, because it looked like a lot of fun! Both were laughing like little ones should be when playing outside together on a gorgeous day!


Chris and I smiled at each other as we continued on to church.


And now for the point of these stories--I know, you were beginning to wonder if I had one!--as we continued to walk, I turned to Mister and said, "Let's be sure to help Ainsley to be a little girl and not think she has to grow up so fast!"


Did you notice that similar string in all three stories? There's a sense of carefreeness about little kids. They don't care what they are "supposed" to do or what is socially accepted, they do what makes them happy and what they think they should be doing in that moment. That's something special. That's something that is grown out of way too soon. The big sisters in the last two stories were already catch up in doing what their innocent hearts desired compared to what "others think".


I know I too easily get caught up in this. I don't sing like no one is listening--I don't think I can carry a tune in a bucket have no musical confidence. I recall my junior high English teacher telling us that she only sings for God and her babies because they don't judge. It takes quite a bit of courage to sing to Ains! I don't dance like no one is watching--I'm guilty of desiring that my 4-year old niece would be at the weddings so I could dance with her because no one judges when an adult dances goofy with a little kid, only when they dance goofy by themselves, right?!


It is my goal as a mother to Ainsley and any future children, that I don't get caught up in being too "grown-up" and as a result not let my kids be kids. There's even a couple websites that I came across this past summer that is all about avoiding Adultitis and Escaping Adulthood. Check 'em out!


So what do you do to remain childlike? What could you be doing to remain childlike?! Leave a comment, make a suggestion, and let's challenge each other to be more innocent and carefree!


*I recognize that carefreeness isn't a word, but English isn't my thing. Making up words is. :)

Dear Ainsley [2 Weeks]

Dear Sweet Baby Girl,
You are 2 weeks old today [I wrote this yesterday but did publish it : ) ] and while that time has gone by quickly, I can't imagine life without you. It seems as if you've always been a part of our family and the day you were born seems so long ago.


You've had quite the second week of life. You've been to 2 more church services--making this Sunday's service #5 in your lil' life. You've also been to Greenville to visit/meet your Great Grandma Clum. You've attended wedding #2 and 3 this week. You have also attended your first high school football games which the Bearcats toppled the Mustangs--I hope you enjoyed the game because we'll be attending many more as you get older I am sure!


This week you've also blown your Papa Bear and I away--almost literally--with the power of your little body. A nurse at the hopsital warned us that breastfed babies will have what sounds like ginormous bowel movements and then very little be in the diap [which makes sense because poo is waste and there is very little wasted from breastmilk.] You baby girl know how to rip 'em. You'll wake us from our sleep or catch our attention from the other room and I have to be honest your dad and I are like ten year old boys and still laugh hysterically. I'm not laughing when your diap is off and you decide to let loose though. :S


Sseriously though I love being your momma. You bring such joy to everyone you encounter and an indescribable joy to me. In the 2 short weeks of your life, I feel like you've grown and changed so much and taught me so much. Being your momma is easy to do because you're such a great baby. People ask all the time how were adjusting, and really, you make that adjustment way easier than I imagined it would be. I've already warned your papa on several occasions that your younger sibiling will likely be a terror because you're so wonderful and pleasant. Let's hope not but you've set the standard pretty high! Your papa is worried about having baby number 2 because he doesn't want favorites and can't imagine you not being his favorite. [You're quite lucky to have a dad so in love with you!]

Ains & Momma after cousin Josh's wedding
2 weeks old

I love you sweet baby girl! And you are already growing up way too fast! Slow down, I'm trying not to blink!


Much love,
Your Momma

You shot me!

The game plan for Monday was to wake up slowly--that's always my game plan--and then head to Spencerville. Mister had to work a lunch shift, so lil' Miss Ainsley and I were going to meet up with my parents and head to Greenville to introduce Ainsley to her Great-Grandma Clum. [Ainsley is great-grandchild number 21 for her!]

Well the waking up slowly part was right on track as was timing for getting Ainsley changed and dressed and out the door to make it to Spencerville in the window of time I had given my parents. We had quite the obstacle. As I was changing precious Ainsley Jo, she decided she wasn't quite done doing her business. Note prior to this diaper change 3 out of the previous 5 changes resulted in "double changes". We'd notice she was wet and dirty, so we'd change her and then as soon as the fresh diap was fastened, blast off! She'd fill 'er right back up!

On this diap though, she didn't give me the change to fasten the clean one up! She literally shot me with yellow, seedy, projectile poo! All. over. I had just finished feeding her so I was in my bra and some sweats. After her damage, I had poo on my bra, all over my belly, on the sweats, and of course on the bedsheets!


She even filled my belly button! :)
[Excuse my post-partum belly shot.]



Ainsley made quite the mess of herself as well!

I screamed as if I had been shot with a gun and Chris came around the corner from getting ready for work with a worrisome look on his face, that quickly changed to laughter! This little girl is dangerous!

Now I needed to get myself cleaned up and Ainsley, so we were a little late heading out the door.

Great-Grandma Clum holding Ainsley Jo!

In addition to Ainsley's success in providing humor for the morning, she was also successful in being a wonderful baby as we traveled to and fro Greenville and she met Grandma Clum. Grandma wasn't having the best of days when it came to being "with it", but she was definitely with it when it came to lil' Miss Ainsley. She knew right away who she was, which "number" great-grandchild she was, commented about her hair coming from Chris, and even asked about my c-section. Her only off Ainsley comment was she said, "Well she does have a bit of a knot on her head, but don't worry Rachel, it's not that noticeable and it'll go away soon!" [I reassured Ains that she has a perfect little head--don't want the girl to be self-conscious!] Later Dad and I commented that babies seem to keep Grandma's mind a little straighter so I guess Clum cousins, listen up! We need to keep havin' 'em! :)

After our time with my parents and visit to Greenville, the lil' one and I were back home and then off to Grandma & Grandpa Massie's for supper and Ainsley-snuggling time. She even got to meet Uncle Mark and Aunt Bev while there. [And of course I forgot to get a pic!]

Dear Ainsley... Week 1

Dear Sweet Baby Girl,

You are now one week old. It has been the quickest and longest week all in one. I didn't realize I could learn so much in one week, nor did I realize that I could experience so many emotions in such a short period.

Ainsley Jo are absolutely beautiful. You completely captivate me. I have never had a desire so great than to be the best for you. When you snuggle into a ball and nuzzle into my chest there is no where else I'd rather be. I get lost watching your breath and hearing you coo. I know that you aren't consciously smiling at me, but I can't help but imagine you are.

We have not only a crib for you, but a cradle in our room for you to sleep in each night. last night was the first you slept in your cradle--and that was just for a couple hours--because I can't stand having you that far away. I want you on my chest or on Papa Bear's chest or even laying between the two of us. I know this is a habit we'll need to break, but for now, you'll continue to sleep with us.

When you were first born, I felt cheapened. I felt jipped. I felt like I didn't get to experience the bonding that I would've had had you not been born via c-section. All I wanted to do was to immediately have you on my chest after your entrance into the world, I wanted that bond that I read about. But instead when you were born I couldn't even see you immediately, everyone else in the room was able to welcome you with smiles [under their masks of course] and lay their eyes on your beauty. I could only hear you and them. It was so hard. Once you were finally brought back to our hospital room, I was thankful that then I was able have that time just you and mommy. As you laid on my chest while the rest of the world was asleep, you suddenly filled my broken heart. As your momma, I'm the one who is supposed to meet your needs, but in that moment, you met my needs as no one else could.

I no longer feel cheapened or jipped. I feel like the luckiest woman on the earth. I know as you continue to grow, you will continue to astonish me with your sweet spirit.

I love you, Ainsley Jo, my sweet baby girl.

Love,
Momma

P.S. You already have your dad complete wrapped around your finger. ;) Your bond with him is equally as beautiful.

1st Night Home
One Happy Family

Goal #24: Ainsley Jo

*Note: Part of this post is definitely TMI for some of y'all. If you aren't sure you want to hear all about my business, then I can sum up the entire post in the following sentence:


Ainsley Jo Massie was born at 3:17am on Saturday, August 27th via Cesarean section weighing 8 lbs. 12 oz and 21 in. long. :)


I was excited to sleep in on Friday morning. We were to the fair late the night before but I didn't mind because I knew I didn't have to get up until 8:30 Friday. Since I had a 9:15 doc appt I wasn't going to go into school until afterwards. 

6:20 am. [The time my alarm usually goes off.]

My beached-whale self rolled over in bed. I instantly had to go to the bathroom. #2. I was going to wait it out and hope that it was just the lil' one shifting and if I laid there long enough another shift would come and I could continue to sleep. Then I felt a "bloop" down there, so I figured I better go to the bathroom. 

I won't give details but I went to the bathroom and it felt funny. Looking in the porcelain bowl, it looked funny too. Standing in front of the sink, I felt another trickle uncontrollably come. Holy cow! I think my water broke! It was all kind of surreal and I had convinced myself that my water breaking wouldn't be the first sign of my labor as it only is in 10% of pregnancies [this was largely in part to reassure myself that it wouldn't just happen all of a sudden while standing in front of a classroom full of high schoolers!] Without any contractions and just mild cramping, I went back to bed, told Mister what happened and then tried to sleep. I was going to just wait it out until my doc's office opened and then call and find out what they wanted me to do. 

Of course I couldn't sleep, thinking about how soon I'd get to meet our lil' one, and I was visiting the bathroom every few minutes to make sure this wasn't all a dream, so I got up, took a shower, got dressed, packed our hospital bags, did the dishes, and waited, and waited. A little before 8 o'clock, I woke Chris and asked him to get ready because I was about to call the doc to find out what I need to do. As he showered and such, the doc's office said to go on in to the hospital. Because I still wasn't really in labor, I told Chris he'd likely want to get something for breakfast because who knew what the eating arrangements/timeframe would be from here on out! This comment combined with saying for the last 9 months that I wanted to wait at home as long as possible before heading to the hospital nearly killed me. Chris made himself some pancakes and I swear ate them as. slow. as. possible! It wasn't that long, but I was antsy and only once did I threaten to go to the hospital without him! :)

One last pre-baby picture.

Off to the hospital, arriving a little after 9am, I told the nurse my story. The majority of the time she just smiled shaking her head. Come to find out there was a lady across the hall with pretty much the same story, same doctor, but I was due the Monday before and she was due the coming Monday. I told the nurse that we called each other and planned it all out. Anyways they do a quick little swab to test for amniotic fluid. If it turns blue-black, your water has broken. The nurse--she was a little nutty, but a lotta fun-- mentioned a few things that could cause a false-positive but explained that they have a microscope in the other room to know for sure. One quick swab, instantly black. The nurse chuckled, commented that she was going to save this one to show some of the newer nurses was a strong positive looks like, and then turned to Chris and said, "Nailed it!" Oh geesh! :)

The next few hours were pretty uneventful. We ate applesauce, jello, a few crackers [shh!] and drank juice--thank you clear liquid diet. We laid on the bed and watched Tangled on Netflix. We made U after U on the L & D floor and pretty much just waited for something to happen. 



Chris found entertainment in that my
feet didn't touch the ground during my
hundreds of visits to the bathroom!

And then it did.

Contractions were getting stronger and stronger. At first, they were simply noticeable, and then the were mildly uncomfortable, then pretty dang uncomfortable, and then finally down right painful. In the uncomfortable stage I told Chris that it felt like I had awful period cramps--which wasn't a good explanation that he could relate to--mixed with incredible indigestion after eating way too much Mexican! I felt like I was doing pretty well handling the pain with movement, shower, exercise birthing ball etc. but when the nurse indicated that she could give me a little something to take the edge off, I waited just a bit longer because she said it's really only effective for about an hour and I knew I had longer than an hour to go and then asked for it!! I was just about to 7 cm when they gave me "staydol" to take the edge off. They warned me that I'd feel like I was drunk.

After giving me the med they came back a few minutes later to me crying in the hospital bed. "What's wrong, Rachel?!" I *sniff* can't *sniff* see straight *sniff sniff*!! I had complete double vision and felt like someone was pushing on both sides of my head. With almost a chuckle, they responded, "But we told you, you'd feel like you were drunk." "But I've *sniff* never *sniff* been drunk before *sniff*!" In hindsight it was pretty funny, but in the moment, I wasn't seeing much humor and just asked "Why would anyone do this to themselves?!" This did help take the edge off a bit, as long as I closed my eyes so that I didn't get dizzy and we continued to progress through the contractions. 

At about 8cm, the nurse started talking about pitocin because of how long my water had been broken. I said if you are giving me pitocin, you are giving me an epidural. I didn't even care to think about the intensity of contractions caused by pit without one. So I got a low dose of epidural, and that was nice. Then I got the pitocin, and that was awful!! It felt as if I never had the epidural. The nurse said I was still going to feel pressure, but not pain. This was definitely P.A.I.N. I asked for the anesthesiologist to come back and give me more. I knew he was originally called out of my room for an emergency, life or death, operation somewhere else in the hospital, but in that moment, I felt like the most selfish person ever because I simply didn't care. I told Chris--and only Chris, not the nurses and such--that I didn't care that there was a man potentially dying somewhere, I wanted that epidural! It seemed like an eternity before he returned and in reality I have no idea how long it was, but he did return, apologized for his delay, and then all my pain--not the pressure--was gone! I could handle this!

At about 9:30/10, I was a fuzz away from 10cm and so the nurse had be start to push in order to literally push myself to 10cm. The nurse commented I should have this baby in my arms by midnight. And so the pushing began. I pushed to 10. And then I pushed to get the lil' one's head turned properly. And then it was time to start pushing "for real". At about 11/11:30, true pushing began. With every contraction [or twinge of pressure because I couldn't really feel them] I'd push with all my might. The nurse commented that I was a really good pusher, which was exciting to me as that was a goal of mine. [More specifically a goal was to do #2 on while pushing because at our birthing class they said if you do #2, then that means you are pushing correctly! According to that theory, I pushed correctly at least twice. ;)]

Our lil' bundle was so close to entering this world that Chris could see the top of her head, with hair, and the nurse said I was a knuckle's distance away! About 2 am, and 2 hours of serious pushing with each contraction, my doc came in and said she didn't think this babe was going to come out this way. She gave the option of c-section at that point or continuing to push a bit longer, but 3 hours of pushing was kind of her limit for moms.

We decided to continue to push.

Nearing 3 hours of pushing and 3am, our lil' one still wasn't delivered. What was happening was with each contraction/push, I would push her down to nearly out and then as soon as I let up, she would go all the way back up. She was like a little turtle baby. If I would happen to push her and get her head out, likely her shoulders would get stuck and cause damage in that way.

It wasn't worth the risk.

We decided on a c-section and they began to prep us for it. I asked Chris to text my mom and let her know. Much to my surprise they were already at the hospital and just waiting for the call to be able to come back [since we thought this babe would be here by midnight for sure!]. Since they were already there, I asked for her to come back to my room. I needed the reassurance that only a mom can give that we were making the right decision and while absolutely pretty much nothing had gone the way I had hoped, in the end our healthy and safe baby in our arms and my health and safety was all that really mattered.

She, as well as Chris of course, gave me that reassurance.

They prepped me for the c-section and one of the things I had to do was drink this little shot of bitter something-or-another that is supposed to neutralize my stomach so I wouldn't get sick during the operation. Well it definitely prevented me from getting sick during the operation because I empty everything out of my system after only getting the bitters halfway swallowed. I puked everywhere. And continued to puke until I was dry heaving. Lovely I know. And the best part was I had a little kidney bean tray they had given me while I was pushing in case I felt sick and that bitty tray was expected to catch everything. Not so much.

After drying me off and finishing prepping me for the OR, they said that the operation would take about 1 hour and then another hour in recovery and then people--aka my parents-- would be allowed in my room. The c-section was a very odd experience as anyone who has had one can attest. You can feel pressure, tugging, and movement, but you don't feel any pain, nor do you really know what's going on as there is a screen at your chest blocking all view. I would roll my eyes around to try to see what I could around my head. My upper body--which had feeling--was still shaking as it had been for the past 5 hours of labor even though my arms were strapped down at nearly 90 degree angles at both sides. I felt like everyone knew and could see what was going on except me.

Within just a dozen or so minutes at 3:17am, I heard Dr. Medina tell Chris, "Take a picture of your new daughter!!"

Ainsley Jo's first photo.
Delivered by Dr. Medina via c-section at 3:17am.

He did and then showed me the pic--what would we have done without technology!--and then they took our lil' girl with a healthy set of lungs on her over to the weighing/clean up station. What seemed like forever but was likely just a few minutes, the nurse brought our Ainsley Jo over to my head to I could lay eyes on her for the first time.

Family Photo

This too was a time that is quite difficult to explain. I was excited, but I was emotionally numb. It was so difficult to continue to be "worked on" as everyone else was looking at and talking about my daughter. I wanted to see her. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to talk all about her. Eventually they took her away to clean her up and do the basic checks as they finished putting me back together. They said she'd be brought to my room within a few minutes of my return there. Chris stayed with me as they finished everything in the OR.

About 4am I was back in my room for my "recovery" period aka annoying period. I was still shaking and everyone thought I was cold so they'd put crap on me, but in reality I was burning up. Annoying. I had the oxygen tubing up my nose. Annoying. I had leg compressions even though within 15-20 minutes I could move my legs on my own. Annoying. The nurse wasn't the friendliest or most competent accommodating. Annoying. I was in pain--my back was on fire from exhausted muscles from all the pushing I had done. Annoying. When finally I declared, "Ah no! I'm not cold! I'm hot and everything is just annoying!" the lovely nurse went and got a wet washcloth and put it on my forehead. I. hate. that. To me that just makes everything worse because it makes me feel sweatier and grosser. Within a few seconds, I looked and Chris and demanded asked, "Get that thing off of me, now!"

At this point, I just wanted to be unhooked from everything and hold my baby girl. My parents were permitted to come back to my room very shortly after I was in there--they didn't have to wait the hour--and we were just waiting on Ainsley. At this point though, we hadn't told my parents if they were welcoming a grandson or a granddaughter. [Chris called his parents at home after my c-section to let them know. It was cute to later learn that he got a bit choked up telling his dad that he now had a daughter. Such a tender, loving dad within the first few minutes!] With my parents though since we were told Ainsley would be brought to my room within a few minutes of me being there, we wanted them to see her to find out what she was.


Well it took forever! Nearly 45 minutes later, they finally brought her to our room. My dad immediately saw the pink "It's a girl!" card on her cart. I just wish I had a video of my mom's face when she made the realization!! :D

Grandpa & Grandmomma-cita Clum
I think it was worth the wait! :)

After meeting her maternal grandparents, and spending a bit of time with her papa, my parents left, Chris fell asleep on the couch, and I was finally able to have that special bonding time. Just momma and baby girl. I laid awake for the next 4 hours just holding her and snuggling my baby girl. This is what it is all about.

Bonding time with my baby girl!

About 9am Saturday morning, I woke Chris and we got ready for our visitors to come and meet our beautiful addition to the family.

Absolutely infatuated by his new princess!
He's already the best papa, sorry other dads!
:)

All in all this experience was nothing like I thought it would be, except in the end I--healthy--was able to hold my healthy, beautiful baby girl. And really I learned, in the end, that's all that matters!!

[Oh and because I was in the hospital, I also didn't use any gas for two days which was goal #47. I'm counting it as a goal accomplished but am going to try and accomplish it again more out of my own will!]