You are now one week old. It has been the quickest and longest week all in one. I didn't realize I could learn so much in one week, nor did I realize that I could experience so many emotions in such a short period.
Ainsley Jo are absolutely beautiful. You completely captivate me. I have never had a desire so great than to be the best for you. When you snuggle into a ball and nuzzle into my chest there is no where else I'd rather be. I get lost watching your breath and hearing you coo. I know that you aren't consciously smiling at me, but I can't help but imagine you are.
We have not only a crib for you, but a cradle in our room for you to sleep in each night. last night was the first you slept in your cradle--and that was just for a couple hours--because I can't stand having you that far away. I want you on my chest or on Papa Bear's chest or even laying between the two of us. I know this is a habit we'll need to break, but for now, you'll continue to sleep with us.
When you were first born, I felt cheapened. I felt jipped. I felt like I didn't get to experience the bonding that I would've had had you not been born via c-section. All I wanted to do was to immediately have you on my chest after your entrance into the world, I wanted that bond that I read about. But instead when you were born I couldn't even see you immediately, everyone else in the room was able to welcome you with smiles [under their masks of course] and lay their eyes on your beauty. I could only hear you and them. It was so hard. Once you were finally brought back to our hospital room, I was thankful that then I was able have that time just you and mommy. As you laid on my chest while the rest of the world was asleep, you suddenly filled my broken heart. As your momma, I'm the one who is supposed to meet your needs, but in that moment, you met my needs as no one else could.
I no longer feel cheapened or jipped. I feel like the luckiest woman on the earth. I know as you continue to grow, you will continue to astonish me with your sweet spirit.
I love you, Ainsley Jo, my sweet baby girl.
Love,
Momma
P.S. You already have your dad complete wrapped around your finger. ;) Your bond with him is equally as beautiful.
 |
| 1st Night Home One Happy Family |
Well that was a tear jerker rach! I totally understand the feeling of your baby meeting your needs when they fill your heart with so much love.. also don't feel bad about letting her sleep with you guys.. Smith sleeps with me and Stu a whole lot more than in his crib :)
ReplyDelete