Tuesday, July 29

First Vacation

Tomorrow evening I will be leaving for my first vacation ever; I'm pretty excited as well as nervous. I'm afraid all the chicks aren't in a line and that we're forgetting something major. I also don't know what to expect. I am just hoping that all the little things that I've been worrying about the last couple days will smooth out and we'll have a great time. I am sure that I will regardless though as long as I have a positive attitude about everything. We Chris by my side though, that makes it much easier to have such attitude. He's so wonderful about putting things into perspective and causing me to realize how great things really are-- all the time.

This one is going to be pretty short, but I'm just looking forward to the next 5 days so much and I look forward to telling y'all about my first vacation when I return!! : )

Monday, July 28

Motorcycling Mamas

Last Wednesday, Saturday, and yesterday my mom, aunt and I took a motorcycle class. When we started we were pretty excited because there were 8 women and 4 men--we didn't expect to feel as intimidated because there were so many women and beginner riders. Anyways the first night was all book work which was pretty boring, but then things got a bit more interesting on Saturday and Sunday when we were actually on the bikes.

Fast-forwarding and skimming those two days, I was really nervous but both the instructors continued to comment as to how well I was doing on everything. They even told my classmates that if they wanted to know how to do the skills they should watch me! I tried my hardest to not let any of it go to my head, and I thought I was pretty successful... Fast-forwarding to Sunday afternoon when we were practicing for the test-- I sucked! I was getting frustrated because I couldn't perform the tasks, and had no idea why! :S Long story short[er], I felt like I performed horrible and doubted that I did.

I passed though. Everyone in the class passed, including my momma and my aunt. Everyone was super excited but I was just disappointed in my performance and just didn't want to take my helmet off because it'd reveal my tears.

Perhaps the reason I'm writing is because there were two other females in my class that made me crazy. Towards the end of Wednesday night's class I was looking forward to a two day break from this mother-daughter team, but Saturday and Sunday left me shaking my head most every time they opened their mouth-- NOT GOOD! I figured I needed to take better control of my attitude [something I was thinking a lot about at Bootcamp in June] so I decided that I wasn't going to let this lady have that control over my attitude. Thinking of how I could take this control back, I decided to ask God to be able to see this lady as He did. I was expecting to receive some revelation and think about how wonderful this lady was. It didn't really happen, at all. So my next request to God was that I would be able to imagine the great things that this lady has done or perhaps has yet to do. I remember telling God that I didn't even care if what I imagined was competely bogus, I just wanted to see greater value in this woman. It worked. :) And it didn't stop there. After coming up with some great things and influences that this woman made, my mind continued to drift and think about the other 8 people in class that I didn't know and soon I had made up great things about each person.

Moral of this story: I don't always see people with God's eyes, and with some people I
really struggle to do it, but I've found that even if I can't see another as a whole as God sees them, I can find at least one thing about someone that makes them special and of course valuable as well.

I am working on seeing.

Friday, July 25

Girls Night

Tonight I had a girls night at my Bluffton apartment. I was reminded of how much I love each of the girls that were here and my lovelies that weren't as well. I really am blessed to have a great group of friends, and I feel as if I have such a wide variety of them as well.

I have a friend who will tell me just like it is, if that's what I need to hear.
I have a friend who is so similar to me, but great differences are evident as well.
I have a friend who is always there for an uplifting phone call or text any time day or night.
I have a friend who can make a car ride three counties to nowhere quite an enjoyable adventure.
I have a friend who puts so much thought into her words that she speaks power.
I have a friend who is my biggest support and loves me more than I deserve.
I have a friend who clicks so well that I feel like I've know her for years, but we've only shared a few months.
I have a friend who makes a quiet evening meaningful and insightful.
I have a friend who can always come up with an idea of something fun to do.
I have a friend who makes my joy, and life, more complete just by 'being' together.

I have friends who mean the world to me, and sometimes I feel as if I fail to remind them of that fact. I have friends who I would take a bullet for without a second thought. I have friends who I know would do the same for me. We all have traveled different paths and continue to travel on our own paths, but I am so thankful that these people's paths and my path have intersected and coincided. I know that they will not coincide forever and that distance will separate and time will pass. Regardless I have friends that forever have impacted my life.


And as a little [humorous] sidenote: I have friends who are zonked out because it's 4 o'clock in the morning and sprawled out all over my large bed and another one who just woke up for a moment to say 'huh' after I just sneezed! : )

Gotta love them all! : )

Thursday, July 24

Mister

Another thing on this mind/heart? Chris. It's no secret, I like this man. I more than like this man. I am very much in love with this wonderful guy. I am more than in love with him actually, but those words are to be saved for a very special day. Anyways, his six months in Detroit was hard, but so good for our relationship. We learned a lot about ourselves together and individually. These past two week have been like an intensified time of missing him all over again. A week away with his best friend and now a week ministering to teens of the church we attend--both absolutely great things, but such a catch-22. [I think that is properly used, but I'll have to check with Amber on that.]


Anyways, missing Chris reminds me of how lucky I truly am. He is my favorite and the one that I look forward to spending the rest of my life with. We have absolutely no idea what that will look like, but we are excited and desire to simply do life with the ones we love.


Thinking about writing about Chris and us and the future just makes my brain scramble because my mind goes a thousand different directions and causes my heart to be filled with so many emotions. It's wonderful. It's a learning and growingperiod.


I'm learning what it means to be patient and to simply be. I've always been a planner. I want to know what I am going to do and when so that I can be ready for it. [I know part of that is probably a control thing as well. :S I'm working on it.] Lately though I am learning that planning and knowing isn't always necessary; I've got to step back and enjoy the journey. There are so many people in my life who are in such exciting times of their lives. Sometimes I just want to climb to the mountaintop and shout so the whole world knows how excited I am for them. Sometimes I just want them to 'hurry up' so that they are in the next 'stage' of their life and experiencing and enjoying that. I want to fast-forward my life too sometimes. Okay many times! I want to fast-forward and wake up next to Chris every morning. I want to fast forward and be done with my schooling. I want to fast forward and see breakthrough and not just the verge of it. Iwant to fast forward and be fulfilling our distant dreams. I want to fast forward and be doing that instead of simply doing this right now.


God's teaching me this right now and I really need to learn it, because I don't enjoy being taught it all the time. :-)


Before Chris left he gave me a letter, a story of the journey that we are on these two weeks while distance separates us. Although we knew that the time apart would be bittersweet he wrote:


'however, it was actually a time of discovery for both journeyers--to discover creation, discover God, discover more about who they are alone + together. these separate paths were also periods of needed refreshment + rejuvenation. though the times apart weren't completely enjoyable because of the distance between, they both realized those times were necessary for their growth, individually and together'


While he used those words to describe our bittersweet time apart, it adequately describe this time in my life when I am trying to learn how to enjoy the moment and be in the present versus looking to the future.


It's a work in progress. It's a journey. It's my journey.

Wednesday, July 23

Why We Worship Him

So I will probably be a failure when it comes to keeping this thing updated, but I'm surely going to try, I'll try.

So what's on my mind, what's on my heart? There's so much that I probably won't even begin to give it justice. Number One thing on my heart and mind: God, and more specifically Jesus. Last night I listened to a sermon on a introduction to 1 John. We only got into the first 5 verses, but such good insight. The focus of most it was about why we worship Jesus. Seems simple, eh? Yeah that's what I thought too, but I was totally wrong. You are going to read this list and think, duh that's why I worship Him, but there's so much more to each statement. So I'm going to list them and not do them justice, but think more about it, or something, and hopefully it'll impact you a bit more!

So here's the list:
1. He says He is God.
2. He came from heaven.
3. He says He is sinless.
4. He forgives sin.
5. He said He's the only way to heaven and indeed He is.
6. He confirmed to others that He was God.
7. He accepted worship as God.
8. He made miracles.
9. He knew the future.


Like I said the list seems really simple, but when it was pointed out that no one really fulfilled any one of those, let alone all of those, it makes our God so much better than any god someone tries to fill that void in their life with. Even the big-wigs of the other religions/cults/belief systems didn't claim these things. Even though there are those who others label as gods, very very few people actually claimed to be god; and the ones who did weren't credible. Or others claim to have had a glimpse of heaven [or whatever they choose to call their 'final destination'] whereas Jesus said, yep that's where I came from and that's where I'm going. [RCV] Or how about the fact that Jesus claimed to be sinless and no one could ever prove otherwise? Could you imagine if I said I was sinless?! There'd be so many letters to the editor with lists of the sins I've made in my life. Saying I'm sinless is like an advertisement welcoming challenges to prove me wrong! It'd take one like 2 secs to do that, but Jesus now we're going on over 2,000 years and still can't do it! Pretty amazing huh? The final wow point that I had from the sermon was concerning the fact that Jesus accepted worship as God. When I first heard this point, I was thought, 'yeah makes sense, He's God why wouldn't He accept such worship?' Then a great point followed: say we suppose that Jesus was just a great teacher and nothing more. [This is something that is very widely accepted by non-Christians 'He isn't God, but He was a good teacher.'] Okay so suppose that, but then think about how He accepted worship as God. Would a great teacher accept such? I think not. I surely hope not too! That's where good teachers go bad, when people put them on high pedestals than they have the One they are teaching about. Churches are divided and great ones fall because of such acceptance. He would not have allowed people to worship Him as God if He were not God because that would have made Him a horrible teacher, not a great One!

Alright, that's just the surface of that topic...