What's in a Name?

Over two years ago when I discovered that our first child was itty bitty growing inside of me, one of the first things that crossed my mind was what would we name this child?! Way back to pre-junior high years, I came up with a boy and a girl name for my future children.

Addison and Jacoby.

Addison was a combination of American Girl's Addy books--love them!--and then realizing because of a cousin's friend's daughter that Addison was the full version of Addy.

Jacoby came from a younger brother of a family who participated in Wapak Kids Wrestling program. I remember even at that young age--I don't remember how young it was when we met this family--having a conversation with my momma about how had she had heard the name "Jacoby" before having my brother Jacob, she would've used that name instead. I remember later in junior high having a conversation with Momma-cita in which I said, "Well you could always adopt a boy and name him Jacoby." For whatever reason, we both just really liked the name.

Fast-forward to 2009. After we were married, I remember coming home to Mister worked up saying we no longer could use our my girls name! After filling him in on what my our future son and daughter would be named--do all women do that?!-- I scratched the girls name because it had become too popular for my liking, and the conversation was over.

When we found out we were pregnant with Ainsley, since we didn't know if she was a boy or a girl prior to birth, we had to choose both a boy's and girl's name. I still really like Jacoby but had no idea for a girl's first name and neither of us really had middle names figured out yet. Mister came home from work one day suggesting Ainsley--to which I initially laughed at because I thought he was joking. In my defense, he suggested it after suggesting Henrietta and Erma! He said that he just kind of came up with it while he was working that day and he remembered a character on the West Wing with the name. Once I realized he was serious, it stuck and became our girl's name. Chris struggled a bit to accept Jacoby because it was the last name of one of his elementary teachers.

So we had it down to Ainsley and Jacoby, but we needed middle names.

That's when we got the idea to honor our maid of honor and best man with our name choices, thus resulting in Ainsley Jo [my maid of honor's middle name] and Jacoby Joshua [Chris' best man/friend's first name].

Well obviously our firstborn is our sweet, charismatic daughter, Ainsley Jo. Ainsley--chosen by her papa and Jo after my best friend from high school and maid of honor.

Pregnancy #2 we intentionally decided not to find out the gender of the little one growing inside of me and therefore needed to come up with two names. Really just a girl's name as Jacoby Joshua was still our boy name.

Our only criteria was that the middle name had to have significance/be after someone. The first name we could be more creative with.

Well we never 100% decided on a girls name it doesn't really matter what our girl's name was because baby number two is our handsome little man, Jacoby Joshua. As mentioned before Joshua is after Chris' best friend and Jacoby is a variation of my brother's name that my momma and I heard many, many years ago!

***

To be named after someone or to name someone after someone else, in my book, is an honor. You don't choose your worst enemy or someone with attributes you don't want your child to emulate and name your child that name. When it comes to our Jacoby Joshua, that last part couldn't be farther from the case. While Jacoby wasn't originally chosen to honor my brother, Jacob, especially the past several months--and even years--this has become more of a reality.

I have seen my brother transform into a great man, father and Christian. He has characteristics of hard work, dedication and determination that I hope Jacoby emulates. All these feelings and the desire to not only have Jacoby's name be Jacoby because we liked it, but also after my brother was confirmed while we were in the hospital not knowing what was going on in little Jacoby's body. On the morning after his birth, I sent a text out to family giving the latest update, and my brother responded, "He'll pull through this. He has strong determination in his blood." Tears immediately came to my eyes as I thought, "You're right, Jake. He does. Just like you." Later that evening, after a very emotional day, as Jake and his family were visiting in the hospital, he squeezed me tightly, giving the big brother comfort that can't quite be explained, and it felt like we were the only two in the room. That's when he said, "Would you like me to pray for all us?" With tears in my eyes, I said I would and he led all of our family in prayer. This is the type of man that I want Jacoby to be--a man who is determined, a man who is dedicated to his family and God.

Today, I came across this post and linked it to my Facebook statues with the comment, "Raising a good, God-honoring, women-respecting man has already consumed my mind and heart since Jacoby has ben welcomed into my world... I'm thankful Jacoby has the men he does in his life--including his Papa and his namesakes."

If Jacoby becomes half the man of the these three great men in his life, he'll be just fine!

on our hospital stay

As you know from the content of our past posts, we welcomed our first son Jacoby Joshua into the world on March 7th. He ended up needing to be in the special care nursery for the first week of his life and it was hard on everyone.

This was likely the most lonely week of my life.

Not only did we not have answers to what was going on so there was an element of suspension and fear of what was around the corner, it seemed as if the weight of the world had to be carried by Mister and I alone.

While I know this wasn't completely true, it was undeniably my feelings and sometimes feelings are more real than reality.

We were in the hospital for a total of 8 days, and beyond our immediate families had 3 family members, 4 friends visit and 4 pastors visit. [I deeply appreciate all of those visits!] As I sent out updates throughout the days so everyone could know what was going on with lil' Jacoby, our family would mention wanting to visit but not impede on our time as a family there.  This couldn't have been further from what I wanted. Each time, I'd assure them they were not impeding and we'd I'd LOVE to have them come up and visit. At times they would visit, knowing that they may only get a few minutes to hold Jacoby or even only be able to see him in the nursery, but they still came. Their presence was my strength in some moments.

Especially as the days passed by, we knew Jacoby was in the clear, and we were simply waiting on the the full dose of the antibiotics to run its course, the days were so.long.

One evening my mom was visiting, holding our lil' man as Chris ran out to pick up some supper. As I laid on the couch, tears welled up. I was so tired of being in the hospital. I was so tired of feeling alone. I just wanted to leave--all four of us to leave together as a family.

This wasn't the first--or the last--time I shed tears. Tears of confinement. Tears of loneliness. Tears of frustration.

I tried to remind myself to be grateful that what we were going through was just a sliver of what some other parents we know have had to go through at the birth of their children.

I tried to remind myself that even though our life was on hold, everyone else's continued to rush by with each passing day.

I tried to remind myself that no one was intentionally wanting me to feel this way.

It was lonely. It was hard. But now? It's over. We are all home together and I am grateful.

Intentional Generosity

I just finished reading someone’s thoughts that challenged me, and I wanted to share the challenge with you.

Remember back to the Old Testament when Moses shared God’s vision for the people of Israel.  God asked the people to do certain things that go completely against our culture today.  Now, there were many things that would fit that category, but I’m referring to practices that allowed for the poor and seemingly forgotten to be cared for.

For instance, when they harvested their fields, they were to leave the corners so that the poor, the widows, the foreigner, could come and get the crops for food for themselves.  While harvesting, if they dropped any, they were to leave it so there would be something for the poor to get.

Now, in today’s world, we talk about efficiency and productivity so much that we have figured how to get as much as we can out of whatever we are doing.  We make our money go as far as we can so that nothing is wasted.

There is talk about not giving money to those who ask because we don’t know what they’re going to do with it.  We may see the same man in the same three spots asking for the same thing with the same sign, and because we see him so much we don’t take his request seriously.  There is talk about not giving money to certain people because they are lazy and don’t get off their butts to get a job for themselves.

I get it.  I understand those arguments.  I believe in the principles behind the arguments that keep us from giving to these people.  I am with you on that.

But what if God was asking the people to do these things because it keeps the people of Israel from feeling entitled to money or land or food or clothes or whatever?  What if God was asking the people to think about others because it is what God did for us—hearing us in our sin and coming to our rescue through Jesus?  What if God was asking the people to give unconditionally because it would set both groups of people free?

But I don’t really do this.

I mean, we sponsor a child through Gospel for Asia, but we switched to this agency because it was cheaper than Compassion.  (There’s more to that story as well, because we didn’t just stop sponsoring one kid to go with the cheaper one.)  But there’s still that truth to it.  And I don’t even remember that we sponsor her because it just come right out of our account.  I’m not really even involved in it.

As far as other ways of carrying out this principle, I’m having a hard time of even stretching things to come close to fitting it.  I haven’t done anything in a while to do this.  Yes, I feel stirred to act on behalf of others, but I don’t always actually do anything.  Yes, I get excited about standing up for those who can’t or those who need assistance, but I lose the excitement and do other things once the novelty wears off.

So here’s my challenge: God asked the people of Israel to build into their lifestyle a way to care for the poor and oppressed.  I believe that God is still asking people to live in such a way that we take care of our ‘neighbor’, whether we know who we’re doing it for or not.

I want to live intentionally.  I like to do things on purpose.  Sure, I like routine and whatnot too, but why not set up some routines that help others?

What about you?  Are you doing something, even a small thing, to help stand up for someone or provide for someone in such a way?  Please share.  If you have ideas, whether you’ve started doing them or not, please share.

It can be as small as always buying fair trade coffee to make sure those farmers who grow it are paid and treated fairly.  It can be as big as sponsoring 10 kids through Compassion and getting to see each one once a year and writing to them once a week and having an active role in their lives.

So whatever it is for you, tell us.

-mister-

Value System

[I found myself thinking about this yesterday, and I wanted to share some thoughts.]

Does everything belong to you?  What makes you the owner of the things in your house, in your life?  Why is it so important to consider yourself the owner?  Is it to make us feel better about having something that someone else does not?  Or even to have the same type of thing that someone else has?

Where does our value as a human being come from?  Is it from having things?  Is it from where you work?  How much money you make?  Is it the type of work you’re in?  Or is it something else?

Does your value as a human come from what you look like?  What about the type of clothes you wear?  How you talk?  How refined your lifestyle is?

What if your value wasn’t based on any of those things?  Would it be easier?  Would there be less guilt for what we do or wear or think or conduct ourselves?  Would we treat others differently?

What if your value as a human was based on the fact that you are alive?!

That’s it.  You are alive, therefore you have value.

It doesn’t matter what your name is, if you can even spell your name, what language you speak, or how many, where you live, what country you’re from, what religion you practice, how many are in your family, what your job is, what you wear, how many possessions you have, or any of that stuff.

Your value is important because it shapes how you see yourself and others.

Now, shouldn’t it be that way?  I feel as if humans, in my culture and much of the ‘civilized and developed world’ have misplaced how to value life.  We’ve placed it on those lists, instead of letting it be because of the breath in our lungs.

I feel as if I could contemplate all of that for a long time, and I would have many years of working it out as I struggle to replace that value system with the one that has been force-fed to me by my culture.

Yet I bring this up because I was thinking about the upcoming election, and I was recalling a conversation I had the other day.

Where I live, many Christians tend to vote Republican.  It’s almost an unwritten rule in my circles that you aren’t really a Christian if you don’t side with the Republicans.  There are some things that I agree with in the Republican party, but there are some things I don’t, as well.  Abortion—I tend to be against it, but I don’t think it should be mandated policy that no one, ever, should be allowed to have an abortion again.  Will Rachel and I choose to have one if a birth defect or something should be discovered with one of our future children?  I highly doubt we’d opt for an abortion.  But, I’m not going to say that I need to mandate that policy for everyone in our country.  Yes, I would suggest having the baby and allowing for adoption instead of abortion, but I don’t know.  There’s also the issue of the mother possibly losing her life if she tries to give birth or even carry the baby full term.  We have c-sections and lots of equipment to keep a premature baby alive, but it may be a serious question for a mother to face.  So I’m not going to say that abortion would never be an option for someone.  For it to be an option based on convenience for the mother or trying to hide a ‘one night stand mistake’ or something like that—yes, I think that would be wrong.  So I would, again, recommend adoption instead.

Another thing that I tend to agree with the Republicans is the general issue of hard work and earning your own money.  I think everyone should work if they are able, instead of living a life of dependence on a substance or system or taken-advantage-of-family-member.  But I don’t think that describes a certain ethnicity in our country!  Get out of your cozy life and meet some people if that’s what you think to be the case.

Yes, I agree with the principle ‘He who doesn’t work, doesn’t eat,’ to an extent.  Children don’t need to get a job, disabled people (not to be read only as mentally disabled; it includes someone losing a leg or arm, etc.) aren’t always able to find a job, elderly people aren’t always able to continue working as their bodies slow down and begin dying.  Yet I’m pretty sure most people would agree with those three examples too.  (I feel like I’m leaving this topic undeveloped, but my mind is working quickly as I get to the point of this whole post!)

Where I’m going with this post is this: many people don’t want the government to redistribute the money they earn to those who don’t work or can’t work.  I think this ties back in to the value issue.

It seems to me that the real issue is how we value people.

Here’s why: our value system is set up to give certain people more value if they have a certain job, or make a certain amount of money, or have a certain type of lifestyle that’s at least similar to ours.  We tend to give less value to those who make less than we do, or who live in a house that’s not kept up as nicely as ours, or who wear thinner, older, out-of-style-in-a-very-noticeable-way, dirty, not-the-correct-size, rattier type of clothes.  Why in the world do we do this?

Because it’s a pride issue.  We feel more important and better and worth more if we can compare ourselves with someone else and come out ahead, at least in our own head.

So why are so many people against this issue?  I think it’s because people value people improperly.  I’m guilty too, but I want to point this out so we can help each other with this.

What if we started being intentional about not being tied to stuff?  What if we gave away money to people who don’t deserve it?  What makes that money yours anyway?  What if we met and became friends with people who don’t make enough money to own a car?  What if we invited poor people into our lives, into our homes, and shared conversations and laughs and tears and food and things?  What if we started sharing now?

If the government wants to make it happen anyway, why not figure out a way to enjoy it.  It’s somewhat a subversive act, in that regards.  And if there’s part of you that still wants to be a rebel in some way, you can join me in figuring this out.  We can be rebels together.

Now, the practical step.  I am a dreamer.  I tend to think of something and imagine what it could look like.  I really enjoy it.  It's part of who I am.  I'm not so good at actually carrying it out.  Most of my dreams are still in my head, with very few steps taken in the real world.  So, this is where I need your help.  I am definitely pointing to my own lifestyle and choices and comfort as I think about this issue.  I don't like that I point stuff out in others that I still see in myself, but I'm reminded that I have a lot of work needed in my own life too.

So, share your thoughts.  How could we make this work?  What steps could we take?  I don't think I know very many people who vote differently or make less than I do or wear the clothes that don't match the standard in my foolish brain.  So what's something practical that I can do to take a step toward this?

(Now, in closing, I’m not trying to say which way you need to vote.  That has nothing to do with why I’m posting this.  I won’t be upset whichever way you vote, and I think I’ve decided which candidate I’m voting for.  So don’t try to tell me which way to vote either.  We can talk in person, but not online.  Also, please share your thoughts about the value issue.  That’s the point of the post.  Once you’ve shared on that, then feel free to add to the other issues or bring something else up.  But only after addressing the point of this post.  Thanks!)

-mister-

Goal #44 Identify 101 Things that Make Me Happy! :D

So last week was a Murphy’s Law kind of week, well at least for a girl who doesn’t really have anything to complain about in her life! I thought about how I want to blog about a phone that took a crap, trying to activate a phone that didn’t work, being "right on time" 3 out of 4 days, having to find different babysitters each day, lots of red lights, cancelled spin class after waking Ains from a nap to go to it and enough ants that could have carried our house away meaningless complaints! But on Friday morning as I grumbled to work, I decided instead of having a “woe is me” kind of attitude, perhaps I should be a bit more optimistic and in the process, accomplish another goal. Instead of dwelling on what wasn’t going how I had hoped, I decide I should needed to make a list of 101 things that make me happy/smile/I enjoy. So without further ado, in no particular order—at all— Goal #44.

1.       School delays

2.       Ains’ morning smiles

3.       Overhearing Chris explain things to Ainsley

4.       Family

5.       Accomplishing a goal

6.       Blog post comments

7.       Students’ light bulb moments

8.       Finding our journal

9.       Clean bill of health

10.   Creative projects

11.   “You made that!?” comments

12.   Girls Group

13.   Stuart

14.   Sondra

15.   Silas

16.   Micah

17.   Sweet Tea from McDonalds or the taco stand across from the sheep barn at the fair

18.   Kewpee Ice

19.   Co-ed Softball

20.   School Spirit

21.   Timely Advice

22.   Love Book Deposits

23.   Wednesday Night Church

24.   Green lights

25.   Clean house

26.   Job that I love

27.   Chris’ jobs

28.   Marriage

29.   Date nights

30.   Parents

31.   In-laws

32.   Friends’ willingness to watch Ainsley [Note one of my meaningless complaints]

33.   Generosity

34.   Excitement of expectant parents

35.   Grandma Clum’s wit

36.   Make others’ lives easier

37.   Ains’ laugh

38.   Ainsley :)

39.   Clean dishes—no dirty dishes in the sink!

40.   Laying under the stars

41.   Snow days

42.   Saving money

43.   Creating an effective budget [Gotta love number crunching.]

44.   Snow—without ice or slush

45.   Allen County Fair

46.   Peanut Butter/Chocolate combination

47.   Inside jokes

48.   Couponing

49.   Learning

50.   Respect

51.   Stopping at a stop light and the car next to me singing along to the same song

52.   Others’ eyes lightening up with talking about their passions

53.   Correct Jeopardy Answers

54.   “Small World” moments

55.   Shoulder/Back rubs

56.   Dairy Haus’ Frozen Bananas with Krunch-Kote

57.   Frozen Grapes on a hot day

58.   Forgiveness

59.   Teaching Others

60.   Reading friends/families blogs like here, here, here, or here.

61.   Teaching Learning from others [Chris caught my duplicate! I guess teaching just makes me real happy! ;)]

62.   Solving a problem

63.   Children’s innocence in mispronouncing something

64.   Timely songs

65.   Winning

66.   Hosting

67.   Reflecting about how things were growing up

68.   Pushing a peanut butter cup from Moose Tracks to the bottom of my waffle cone so that I have a perfect final bite that tastes like a Nutty Bar

69.   A good workout

70.   Waking up rested

71.   Handwritten notes/letters

72.   Coming up with creative ways to show love

73.   Receiving creative love

74.   Tyler Perry Movies

75.   Witty answers from students

76.   Blog followers

77.   Watching the Biggest Loser

78.   Pumpkin Cheesecake

79.   Meaningful Gifts

80.   Bed-sharing with Ains and Mister

81.   Snooze button

82.   Supporting bigger causes

83.   High School Football games

84.   Shorts and sweatshirt weathers

85.   Summer nights with fire

86.   Surprise dates

87.   Family Traditions

88.   Compliments

89.   Tuesday Night Questions

90.   Being snowed in with a cozy fire

91.   Hawaiian Ices

92.   A captivating book

93.   Having my idea/box expanded

94.   Being able to comfort Ainsley

95.   Weddings

96.   Mister aka Cakes aka Papa Bear aka Ba-scottie aka Chris!

97.   A candle lit when I wake in the morning

98.   Mister’s kiss

99.   Head massager

Source

100.  Being asked for advice.

101.  My little family J

What makes you smile/happy/enjoyable?!

Innocence of a Child

The past couple weeks especially I have observed something I find very interesting:


The innocence/carefreeness* of a child--and the lack thereof.


Two Saturdays ago we were at my friend's mom's wedding and the bride's son was a dancing machine. This 10-ish year-old was so happy in general, but he was also definitely cuttin' a rug with those dance moves! He didn't care who was--or wasn't--dancing with him, he had a move for every beat and was having a blast! [And we were all having a blast watching him!] After a couple songs, he had enlisted 2 of his friends to dance the night away as well, but it was clear that he was the leader as the other two were 'taking' dance moves from him! We called it a night relatively early [it's amazing how babe's do that to you!] but even as we were leaving, Jordan was still tearing it up!


Fast forward to this past Saturday. We were at my cousin's wedding reception [yes, this marked wedding #3 for Ainsley already, we have just one more this coming Saturday]. Here there was another "Jordan" tearing up the dance floor. A little girl, probably about ten [I'm not real sure as she was from the bride's side], who was a serious dancer! It didn't matter what the song or the genre, she had moves for it! For most songs, she even knew the words and were belting those out as well! Now the week before with Jordan and the other boys, they were dacning their hearts out, but their dance moves were pretty much the same from song to song--disco, shaking booties, etc.--not this girl. Her moves actually coordinated with the music being played! This girl was also a blast to watch! After several songs there were two other little girls [sisters] that joined the Dancing Queen. One one probably 8 or 9 and the other about 4.


Here's where it got kind of interesting. The Dancing Queen [that's what I'm going to name her to protect her identity since I don't know her name] tried to get the older sister to dance all crazily like she was, but the older sister, who was willing to dance, didn't seem like she wanted to dance like that. She even seemed to try to "tame down" the dancing queen by holding her arms down when she wanted to swing them up in the air [like she jus' don't care!] Later I noticed the older sister trying to hold the yonger sister's hands and "control" her dance moves as well. Lil' sis was dancing like the Dancing Queen or like you would expect a carefree 4-year-old to dance! The big sister was unsuccessful here as well and every once in awhile, I noticed she was dancing a little crazily too! :)


Okay, now it's Sunday. Mister, Ains and I were walking strolling to church and a few houses down there were two little kids playing outside with what had once been a big cardboard box--it was now a big unfolded piece of cardboard, perfect for each to wrap around themselves and "drive" the other one around. Of course the person in the backseat had to be facing backwards for this to work! ;) As we approached them on the sidewalk, they were having a great time and just about to switch drivers. It was almost as if the older sister--this time about 5 and the little brother was about 4--suddenly was too old to be doing what she was doing, especially in front of strangers. She looked at us and kind of rolled her eyes and said, "My brother wants me to do this!" About that time the little boy took off crazily running and about left big sis in the dust. We told the little girl that it was okay, because it looked like a lot of fun! Both were laughing like little ones should be when playing outside together on a gorgeous day!


Chris and I smiled at each other as we continued on to church.


And now for the point of these stories--I know, you were beginning to wonder if I had one!--as we continued to walk, I turned to Mister and said, "Let's be sure to help Ainsley to be a little girl and not think she has to grow up so fast!"


Did you notice that similar string in all three stories? There's a sense of carefreeness about little kids. They don't care what they are "supposed" to do or what is socially accepted, they do what makes them happy and what they think they should be doing in that moment. That's something special. That's something that is grown out of way too soon. The big sisters in the last two stories were already catch up in doing what their innocent hearts desired compared to what "others think".


I know I too easily get caught up in this. I don't sing like no one is listening--I don't think I can carry a tune in a bucket have no musical confidence. I recall my junior high English teacher telling us that she only sings for God and her babies because they don't judge. It takes quite a bit of courage to sing to Ains! I don't dance like no one is watching--I'm guilty of desiring that my 4-year old niece would be at the weddings so I could dance with her because no one judges when an adult dances goofy with a little kid, only when they dance goofy by themselves, right?!


It is my goal as a mother to Ainsley and any future children, that I don't get caught up in being too "grown-up" and as a result not let my kids be kids. There's even a couple websites that I came across this past summer that is all about avoiding Adultitis and Escaping Adulthood. Check 'em out!


So what do you do to remain childlike? What could you be doing to remain childlike?! Leave a comment, make a suggestion, and let's challenge each other to be more innocent and carefree!


*I recognize that carefreeness isn't a word, but English isn't my thing. Making up words is. :)

Killer Single Digit Countdown

Well ladies and gentlemen we are into single digits. Our due date is just nine days away--that can be counted on two hands with a finger to spare! Over the past two days something has happened in my mind/heart and I'm not exactly sure what it is.

As previously mentioned several times, this has been a great pregnancy and I have thoroughly enjoyed it! Largely in part I believe because there hasn't been anything not to enjoy. 

8.11.11
38.5 Weeks Pregnant

But something has changed.

Sometime in the last 48-72 hours, I no longer want to be pregnant forever--which I never really did but I had the mindset that I'd be content with it :)-- but rather I'd like to have this baby today! Am I overly achy, uncomfortable, and barely able to waddle?! Absolutely not! Physically nothing is different other than the occasion [what I believe to be] tightening contractions, but in my heart and mind, I'm just ready for this experience. I'm ready to meet the one that we created. [I'm ready to find out what we created!] I'm ready for our parents to meet their newest grandchild. I'm ready. But the lil' one isn't. 

Here's my Catch-22: this entire pregnancy I've very much wanted everything to go as "naturally" as possible. I understand and appreciate the technology and medical advancements that have been made over the last several decades, but there have been many things that I think many women with a low-risk pregnancy have done or not done simply because of those developments. I know it's a different time, but if thousands of women in generations before have been just fine living their lives while pregnant, then I'm with them. A large part of this "natural" desire won't come to fruition until labor and delivery. I really want that to be as natural as possible as well. By no means am I saying that I absolutely refuse to have any pain medication or if it is truly medically necessary I'd refuse medical intervention, but what I am saying is that God made women the way that He did for a purpose. One of those purposes is to be able to bear children, even if the ins and outs of it all doesn't make complete sense. I know my body can do it, it's just a matter if it will. [Yes, I've heard many responses to "my theory" on the whole birthing process, including the challenge to shove a basketball in a garden hose and explain what's natural about that--thanks Jake! But know that I'm not closed off to options and interventions, I just know what my preference is.]

Furthermore, I really don't want to be induced. Again, not the end of the world if it happens, but after reading books/articles and talking with many, in many circumstances the benefits don't outweigh the negative consequences. This is my real current Catch-22: I'm ready for this baby now but this baby isn't ready now. So I just have to wait it out hoping that I don't have to wait too long especially because I really don't want to have to start school! [In the mean time, you better believe that I'm trying any of the reasonable natural methods of inducing on my own!!]

Girls Night Group awaiting the lil' ones debut!

So here we are. 9 days from our due date. Anxiously awaiting. Wondering if "any day" could mean today. Hoping that it does. 3 out of four in Chris' family were born on the 13th, so maybe this is our lucky day!

Note: Can I just say that I am even more anxious now that as I went to post this onto Facebook, I noticed that TWO lovely ladies who are due after me, welcomed or are welcoming their little ones into the world today!! Ahh!! The suspense! I just got to keep telling myself, the lil' one is easier to take care of inside than out!!

2 weeks to go. Baby Poll.

38 weeks.

I can hardly believe that it was 234 days ago that I discovered the miracle growing inside of. Then the size of a seasame seed, now the size of a watermelon. Pregnancy truly is a remarkable thing and as I mentioned before it hasn't been quite what I expected it to be. It has been a good experience for sure and in many ways so much more similar to prepregnancy life than I expected.

Now with just 2 weeks until our due date things are starting to change. All along I haven't felt "that big" and that's been commented on by countless others as well, but recently I'll catch my reflection in the mirror and have to take a double-take thinking that can't really be me is it!? Where did that belly come from?! Holy cow, I really am pregnant! For so long while I was out and about in public I've felt like people can't tell "for sure" that I was pregnant and I was in that middle ground--is she fat or pregnant--stage. Not so much any more! Most don't think I'm as far along as I am, but they definitely can tell I'm growing a little one inside of me!

Also within the last week have I started having some discomforts. After sitting for too long, I feel like a 90 year old woman trying to walk. Or I've got the flip from sleeping on my left side to my right side down so well that I barely wake. My hips just get achy. While there is mild short term discomfort there, it excites me: my liagments are getting all loosey-goosey so that our lil' babe can make its descent soon!

Another very recent change has been my mindset. Now I had the goal that I would have all of my lesson plans completed by August 1st. I didn't quite accomplish this [I did have 6 weeks of Geometry plans done though!] but now excluding printing the plans and running copies, this is complete. Likely after going into school Wednesday to reorganize the students' desks and run those copies, I'm completely ready to hand over a binder worth of plans, notes, activities and assignments that will last someone though the first week of October! Now if I just knew who that someone would be, that would make things a bit nicer. In addition to finally feeling like I'm nearly as ready as I'll ever be to turn my class over to someone for 6 weeks, I have also had a mindset shift in that every once and awhile, I find myself saying,

"Holy crap! We're going to be parents very, very soon!!"

Usually this is very exciting, but sometimes it's quite frightening and overwhelming! Obviously we felt like we were ready nearly a year ago when we "pulled the goalies" as Mister so eloquently has put it, but that doesn't take away the apprehension of how our lives will be forever be changed. We're excited. I'm excited. We're nervous. I'm nervous.

Even crazier to me is that for the past month or so, I have mentioned to Chris that as soon as we hit that 38 week mark, we're pulling out all the stops and going to try any natural method to get this baby here. [I'm not all about medication and inducing, but if it's a natural bodily reaction, I am all about that!] Now that we are to that time, I can't count how many times I realize that this means "any day now". Thinking about how I could wake tomorrow morning and it be the last time I wake pregnant with this child inside of me instead of out. I make plans for the upcoming couple of weeks and then remember that perhaps I'll be bringing a child to the event on the outside. It's just so excitingly, apprehensively, crazily fascinating to think about! Aahhh! :)

Finally just for fun, I'm curious what you think Baby Massie will be--other than a baby--and when you think the lil' one will arrive. My aunt suggested a poll that everyone puts $5 into a kitty and then the closest get 50%. While I wouldn't mind keeping the other 50%, this is a "free" wager. So let us know. Leave a comment and tell us the following:

1. Bundle of Blue or Pretty in Pink--You can also make your vote on the right side panel. :)
2. Weight/Height
3. Birthdate [and even time if you'd like!]

To give everyone some insight, at my 36 week appointment, the sonographer estimated the baby to weigh 6 lbs. 9 oz. [but that can be off by 1.5 lbs either way] and baby's should gain half a pound a week from 36 weeks on.

It'll be neat to see if anyone get's super close on all three. [Momma-cita recently guessed a cousin's lil' one's arrival within a day, in the accurate time of day and within just a couple of ounces! She says "one of each" for me though, so I don't see her "winning"!]