{8} 101 in 1001 Goal Updates

I thought I wasn't doing so hot on my 101 goals to accomplish in 1001 days, but in reality it looks like I'm just not doing well blogging about them! I counted 'em up and have EIGHT to update!

5.     Drink no pop for 6 months.
This one wasn't too hard as I have gone longer without pop. It was more difficult to remember that I wasn't supposed to drink it than it was to say no to it. Other than the cherry pops--Cherry Coke, Cherry Pepsi, Cherry 7up--I don't really miss pop too much. So compared to how bad it supposedly is for ya, it's no biggie to say no! [I can't remember the last time I had it actually.]

23.   Get a professional massage.
February 2nd. While at my second chiropractor visit [in my life in prep to make sure all was in alignment for Jacoby to slide squeeeeeeze out] I scheduled an hour massage by the massage therapist that shares an office with him. It was nice. It was relaxing. It was worth it. [Especially since the office still hasn't sent me the bill!] The oddest part was with my normal massage therapist aka the wonderful mister I give a lot more direction--a little to the left, harder there, not so hard there--but with this appointment, I just let her do her thang!

29.   Only trim hair until lil’ bean’s first birthday.
I'm bad about regularly getting my hair trimmed and usually just get it cut [2-3 inches]. I mean you pay the same amount whether you get half an inch or half a foot chopped off. Doesn't seem quite right. Anyways, I made this goal to prevent a spur of the moment chopping... and I did it. It wasn't until 3 months after Ainsley's birthday that I had more than a trim. 

49.   Blog a personal/life update once a month for 6 months.
Well since Ainsley and Jacoby are our life. Just click on those tabs to check out those updates. :)

Handsome lil' man

Miss Personality & Mister

66.   Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years.
Sign. Sealed. Delivered--to-our-basket-of-important-things-that-I-don't-want-to-lose. I actually already forget what I wrote and suddenly look forward to reading it!

71.   Go ice-skating.

The weekend after Thanksgiving, Mister and I traveled to Chicago for the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics Conference. It was the first time for us both to be away from Ainsley overnight and served as a bit of a babymoon before Jacoby's arrival. While there, we went ice skating at Millennium Park! We enjoyed ourselves and could easily tell the difference between newbies aka US and experienced skaters aka those circling us as they whizzed by! Neither of us fell either which was good considering I was 6 months preggo!

88.   Send an anonymous note of encouragement/flowers.
I did it. November 2011. I intentionally didn't blog about this one since it was to be anonymous. :)

And last, but certainly not least!
After today's 5k and playing at the park, we headed home. By the time we got home, the two little ones were asleep and after showering, Mister quickly crashed as well. And so I decided I might as well accomplish another goal!

92.   Grow out hair and donate it.

Before

After

 [Sorry! I don't know why they've formatted funkily!]

Pantene's Beautiful Lengths has 9+ inches of Rachel hair!

And there ya have it! Almost halfway to accomplishing all my goals!

What's in a Name?

Over two years ago when I discovered that our first child was itty bitty growing inside of me, one of the first things that crossed my mind was what would we name this child?! Way back to pre-junior high years, I came up with a boy and a girl name for my future children.

Addison and Jacoby.

Addison was a combination of American Girl's Addy books--love them!--and then realizing because of a cousin's friend's daughter that Addison was the full version of Addy.

Jacoby came from a younger brother of a family who participated in Wapak Kids Wrestling program. I remember even at that young age--I don't remember how young it was when we met this family--having a conversation with my momma about how had she had heard the name "Jacoby" before having my brother Jacob, she would've used that name instead. I remember later in junior high having a conversation with Momma-cita in which I said, "Well you could always adopt a boy and name him Jacoby." For whatever reason, we both just really liked the name.

Fast-forward to 2009. After we were married, I remember coming home to Mister worked up saying we no longer could use our my girls name! After filling him in on what my our future son and daughter would be named--do all women do that?!-- I scratched the girls name because it had become too popular for my liking, and the conversation was over.

When we found out we were pregnant with Ainsley, since we didn't know if she was a boy or a girl prior to birth, we had to choose both a boy's and girl's name. I still really like Jacoby but had no idea for a girl's first name and neither of us really had middle names figured out yet. Mister came home from work one day suggesting Ainsley--to which I initially laughed at because I thought he was joking. In my defense, he suggested it after suggesting Henrietta and Erma! He said that he just kind of came up with it while he was working that day and he remembered a character on the West Wing with the name. Once I realized he was serious, it stuck and became our girl's name. Chris struggled a bit to accept Jacoby because it was the last name of one of his elementary teachers.

So we had it down to Ainsley and Jacoby, but we needed middle names.

That's when we got the idea to honor our maid of honor and best man with our name choices, thus resulting in Ainsley Jo [my maid of honor's middle name] and Jacoby Joshua [Chris' best man/friend's first name].

Well obviously our firstborn is our sweet, charismatic daughter, Ainsley Jo. Ainsley--chosen by her papa and Jo after my best friend from high school and maid of honor.

Pregnancy #2 we intentionally decided not to find out the gender of the little one growing inside of me and therefore needed to come up with two names. Really just a girl's name as Jacoby Joshua was still our boy name.

Our only criteria was that the middle name had to have significance/be after someone. The first name we could be more creative with.

Well we never 100% decided on a girls name it doesn't really matter what our girl's name was because baby number two is our handsome little man, Jacoby Joshua. As mentioned before Joshua is after Chris' best friend and Jacoby is a variation of my brother's name that my momma and I heard many, many years ago!

***

To be named after someone or to name someone after someone else, in my book, is an honor. You don't choose your worst enemy or someone with attributes you don't want your child to emulate and name your child that name. When it comes to our Jacoby Joshua, that last part couldn't be farther from the case. While Jacoby wasn't originally chosen to honor my brother, Jacob, especially the past several months--and even years--this has become more of a reality.

I have seen my brother transform into a great man, father and Christian. He has characteristics of hard work, dedication and determination that I hope Jacoby emulates. All these feelings and the desire to not only have Jacoby's name be Jacoby because we liked it, but also after my brother was confirmed while we were in the hospital not knowing what was going on in little Jacoby's body. On the morning after his birth, I sent a text out to family giving the latest update, and my brother responded, "He'll pull through this. He has strong determination in his blood." Tears immediately came to my eyes as I thought, "You're right, Jake. He does. Just like you." Later that evening, after a very emotional day, as Jake and his family were visiting in the hospital, he squeezed me tightly, giving the big brother comfort that can't quite be explained, and it felt like we were the only two in the room. That's when he said, "Would you like me to pray for all us?" With tears in my eyes, I said I would and he led all of our family in prayer. This is the type of man that I want Jacoby to be--a man who is determined, a man who is dedicated to his family and God.

Today, I came across this post and linked it to my Facebook statues with the comment, "Raising a good, God-honoring, women-respecting man has already consumed my mind and heart since Jacoby has ben welcomed into my world... I'm thankful Jacoby has the men he does in his life--including his Papa and his namesakes."

If Jacoby becomes half the man of the these three great men in his life, he'll be just fine!

Jacoby Joshua

Just like when I wrote about my experience of bring Ainsley Jo into the world, some of the details in this post may be TMI for some of y'all. If you think that may be you, here's the Spark Notes version:

Jacoby Joshua Massie was welcomed into the world via VBAC at 2:28pm on Thursday, March 7th, 2013. He weighed 9 pounds, 4 ounces and was 21 1/4 inches long.

After my doctor's appointment on Wednesday, I was excited about the news that while I was still 3 cm dialated, I had made progress in every other area: more effaced, cervix was no longer posterior but "mid", and my bag of waters was "bulging". This was exciting for me, but at the same time, since I had taken Ainsley to the doc that morning and ended up with 2 prescriptions and a breathing machine, and Mister went to Urgent Care to get a script for bronchitis, I just wanted my little family to get healthy so that we could prepare for the arrival of Baby Massie. I had no idea how soon we'd be welcoming him!

I woke at 4am on Thursday needing to go to the bathroom. This was nothing out of the ordinary for the past few weeks. After doing my business, I climbed back in bed with Mister and Ains. A few minutes later, back on the porcelain throne. From 4-5am, I was back and forth, back and forth. Chris woke during one of my returns, asking if I needed anything, but all I needed was to not have to have to constantly sit on the throne!!

At 5am, I found myself on the couch. I no longer felt the constant urge to go to the bathroom, but I did have period like cramps. From 5 to 6, I had about four of these period like cramps. They lasted for a few minutes at a time and weren't painful, but definitely uncomfortable. After the second one, I realized they were likely contractions, but still nothing that I was getting too excited about. I mean they were only uncomfortable, and perhaps it was just false labor.

At 6am, I figured it was time to start getting ready for school by straightening my hair. I figured if I continued about my day, I'd be able to differentiate between discomforts of perhaps false labor and if it was maybe the real deal. While straightening my hair I had to pause a couple times because of discomfort. After my hair was done, I decided I wasn't going to school that day. Even if this wasn't the real deal, I didn't feel like having to make "pauses" throughout the day in front of a class full of high schoolers. As I climbed back in bed and unsuccessfully tried to get comfortable [especially during the cramps contractions], I updated Chris on my morning and said that I wasn't going into work, but he might as well. To which he asked, "So what will it take for you to call me and say to come home?"

"I don't know, when things get real?!"

By this time, deep down I knew things were already getting real, but didn't want to get my hopes up as it was nearly 24 hours after my water broke with Ains before she was in my arms.

About 7am we were both out of bed, Chris had called his boss and said he wasn't coming in and my contractions were any where from 5 to 12 minutes apart. I was instructed to head to the hospital upon my water breaking or if I had regular contractions, 7 minutes apart. We decided we'd continue to wait it out at home, allowing Ainsley to sleep in before going out to Chris' parents'. No need to wake her up early if we were just going to be hanging out at home all morning.

Just before 8am, as I found myself stopping in my tracks with every contraction focusing on riding it out, I decided that whole "let Ainsley sleep in" idea was a bad idea! "Chris, let's wake Ainsley! I don't think I can wait for her to wake on her own." Chris sent a message to his parents saying we were going to be bringing Ainsley out. A few minutes later, Chris' dad was on his way to pick up Ains.

I was relieved.

Last pic as a family of three!

A quick pic [between contractions]
before heading to the hospital!

Just before 9am we headed to the hospital. A contraction as I tried to get into the car and another right as we were arriving. As we headed to the 5th floor, I buzzed into the Labor & Delivery wing, "Can we help you?"

"Uh, yes, I'm in labor..." As the door opens, I turn to Mister, "at least I better be!!"

We got all checked in, and then Nurse Judy checked me: 4 cm and bulging bag of waters. A bit of progress since the appointment the day before. Now at this time, I was having a bit of tension. I was afraid that this may not be it. I mean my water broke first with Ainsley, so why wouldn't it have broken already if it was time for true labor. But just like I had text my Momma-cita eariler, if this wasn't the real deal, I was doomed!

Over the next couple of hours, my contractions became more steady usually with an intense one quickly followed by one that wasn't quite as intense. They progressed from "Focus! Focus! Focus! Just breathe through it Rachel!" to "This hurts! Ahh, this hurts! Ahh, ahh, it's over!" By 11:30am, I had asked Nurse Judy a couple of times, "Now if I were to get an epidural, do you think it'd up my chances of a c-section?!" Each time I was told that it could but not necessarily. Judy said there were other options, like staydol but after my experience with Ainsley, I said HECK NO!!

So she suggested getting out of bed and try sitting in the rocking chair and rocking through each contraction. I knew that Dr. Bradley should be over about noon or so during his lunch to check on me and likely to break my water, so that was a goal--just make it until noon!!

I only made it one contraction in the rocking chair before I was back in bed and getting checked. I asked him what was so pressing on my mind--soooo, will that epidural up my chances of a c-section?! I didn't really get an answer but he grabbed the big ol' crochet hook and broke my water. "Ahh, just like peeing!!" and more pee and more pee! After he broke my water, he checked me, said I was at 8 cm [holy cow! 4 cm in just a couple of hours!!] and said he was headed to get a bite to eat but would be in the hospital.

I moaned, breathed, squeezed the bed rails during each contraction, shoving ice chips in my mouth like it was my job. I was uncomfortable. I was in pain. I was getting a bit more demanding of Mister--hold my hand, don't hold my hand, push on my back, don't push on my back, ICE NOW!! I was doing it, but I didn't know if I could do it.

Dr. Bradley returned with coffee in hand sitting in the rocking chair in my room. He informed my that once his coffee was gone, he'd check me again, attached an internal fetal monitor to the baby and returned to the rocking chair. I recall asking again, are you sure there's nothing I can get?!

"A margarita?!"

"If you've got strawberry, hook me up!!"

"Ah, sorry. All out of strawberry. Guess there's nothing for you!"

Because of the pain, I was really doubting if I could do this. Based on previous experience, I labored with true contractions for 6 hours. I just didn't know if I could last another 4 hours like this! [Dr. Bradley continued to hang out in my room through the arrival of our lil' one. While I appreciated this because last time I felt like my OB was absent, there were times I really wish he weren't there. Like when he was on his cell phone, and I was grimacing through contractions--I swear he was probably playing Words with Friends or something--or when he was checking me during contractions--I really wanted to just kick him in the head!!]

Shortly there after, I was told if I felt like I needed to push, it was time to start pushing. A few contractions later, I decided it was time to push. I didn't know if I felt like I needed to but I certainly wanted to because I wanted this baby to get here.

Over the course of the next hour or so, I pushed with nearly every contraction with Chris and Judy by my side counting to ten and encouraging me that I was doing well. There were a couple glimpses of labor humor as I "Welp! I jut crapped!" but overall, I was feeling a little discouraged. I didn't feel like I was doing well. I didn't know if I was make progress. I didn't know if the baby was any closer to its arrival. I didn't know if I could do it. During this time, I had a major meltdown. I can't do this! It hurts too much, this baby isn't coming! Dr. Bradley responded "too late" when I said I needed something. I could tell it was hard for Chris to encourage me as he knew I was in great pain. It hurt to keep my legs in the pushing position. I wanted to stop because my hips hurt. I wanted to push because I knew it'd be better. I can't do this, but I continued on.

Sometime in this time, Dr. Bradley gave me two shots in my who-ha of some sort of numbing agent--think the pinch, burning like when getting a cavity filled. He said he thought I was going to "need some extra room". [I'm not 100% sure what it was. Something in the 'caine' family of numbing agents I think, but later the nurses said it was something that Dr. Bradley is one of the very few that use it.]

About 2pm, things started to get a lot more busy in the room. I could tell prepping was happening, but I still didn't know how long I had until the arrival of our lil' one.

I think this was one of the hardest parts about the labor--well except the contractions of course!--I feel like I never really knew where I was at in the whole process. I assumed since more activity was going on, I had to be getting close, but I didn't know this. I was told I was doing great, but in the back of my mind, I thought I was afraid I wasn't and that this labor too would end in a c-section: my worst fear for the past 9 months!

Dr. Bradley then said he was trying to help me get the baby positioned correctly as it was posterior. [Later I found out the he wasn't just posterior, but was quite twisted up in there.] As he did this, he also said he was going to use a vacuum to help pull the baby down. I think this added to the uncertainty of my progress. Because of the added pressure of the vacuum, it was difficult for me to feel where the baby was and if I was getting close. [I guess I assume Mommas can feel the location by the added pressure as I don't know for sure.]

About a quarter after two came my second major meltdown! After a particularly painful pushing through a contraction, I began crying uncontrollably, shaking my head, "I can't do this! I can't! I can't! It's not going to happen!" Judy tried to calm me and grabbed the oxygen mask. Dr. Bradley encouraged  that I was indeed doing it. Chris held my hand and without saying anything, told me I had all his support and the choice was mine.

I wanted to give up. What the heck was I thinking? Why on earth did I dream of experiencing this since the day Ainsley was born? No wonder women say, just schedule a c-section. I can't do it. No, I have to do it. I want to do it!

I regrouped. Got myself together and continued to push with everything I had in me.

I'm not sure how many pushes/contractions later it was, but all of a sudden, Dr. Bradley declared, "The head is out."

"The baby's head is out?! We did it!! I did it!!"

I was reminded the job wasn't done yet, but I didn't care. "If the head's out, the rest of the baby has to come this way! I did it!"

And then, what seemed to be "just like that", Dr. Bradley laid our baby on my chest!

I spread the little legs, "It's a boy!" and looked into Chris' tear-filled eyes, "we have Jacoby!"

Kisses and snuggles and happiness and "I did its!" and "We did its!" and "Thank yous!" [to Dr. Bradley & Judy for believing in me] filled the next several minutes.

I seriously couldn't have done it without these 3 men!

Oh, and Jacoby showing us that his plumbing worked just fine as he laid on my chest! He was cleaned up. I was sown up. Vitals were taken "9 lbs. 4 oz. 21 1/4 inches"!

I looked at Dr. Bradley who had estimated a 7.5-8 lb. baby the day before, and with sweat on his brow, smirked saying, good thing we didn't know that or he wasn't sure we'd gone this [VBAC] route!

"But he fit! But we did it!!!" It is no exaggeration that I had dreamed of a VBAC since the very day of Ainsley's birth. I don't know the number of hours that I have spent dreaming, visualizing, thinking about, worrying about having a VBAC. Some may never understand. Some may think I am/was nuts for having such desire. [Shoot! I did about 15 minutes before successfully having a VBAC!]

But this was one of the most proudest moments of my life.

Everything seemed perfect! Jacoby Joshua was the most handsome, albeit hairy, little man I had ever seen! He nursed like a champ!

All was right in the world!

The rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say, is to come in Jacoby's 1 week letter. 

Great Anticipation

Had you asked me Wednesday at 3:30 how I was feeling about this pregnancy and the arrival of sweet babe Massie, I would have confidently responded, "I'm not getting excited [aka not thinking it's going to happen] for another 2 weeks!"

You see, Ainsley's due date was August 22nd with an adjusted ultrasound due date of August 25th. My water broke on the morning on August 26th and she was welcomed into the world in the wee hours of August 27th.

With this lil one, my original due date is March 2nd. My ultrasound due date is March 9th. So I've kind of clung to a March 6th due date. Just trying to not get anxious or really think that the babe will arrive before then.

But then I had a 3:30 appointment on Wednesday.

When my doc checked my progress, he made a face [which is normal for his expressive self] and while I expected to hear that I had not made any additional progress from my appt just 5 days prior, he announced that I was 3 cm dilated! [This is compared to 1 cm on Friday.] Suddenly excitement and anticipation set in. By no means am/was I naive enough to think we needed to head to the hospital, but something about that progress gave me great anticipation for the coming days. Perhaps it won't be March 6th or later.

Or maybe it will.

With Ains, the first "sign" of labor was waking to my water breaking that Friday morning. I thought for sure I wouldn't be a part of 10% of ladies that their labors start in such way, but I was. And now, as I wake a couple times a night to reposition or going to the bathroom, I find myself wondering, hoping, and then disappointed that it was simply discomfort or "only pee" in the toilet that woke me. Then it's drifting back to sleep wondering if it'll be another day or another two weeks until that twinge I feel is really "it".

Of course I am extremely excited to finally meet lil' Massie. To know if lil' Massie is Jacoby Joshua or _______ _______. I'm excited to kiss a teeny-tiny nose, be amazed by 10 tiny toes and 10 tiny fingers. I'm excited to experience falling in love all over again. To watch Mister fall in love all over again. To see how Ainsley handles her new role as big sister. To see if she wants to hold this baby as much as she wants to hold every baby she sees in a picture.

I have great anticipation for each of these wonderful things.

I also have great anticipation as I think about how lil' Massie will enter this world. Avoiding a delivery like Ainsley's is extremely important to me. She arrive healthy and so I was I after her delivery, but it just wasn't what I wanted. I still struggle with questions of what if and wondering if I was pressured into what wasn't necessary. What was supposed to be moments of euphoric emotions and connecting with my precious little princess, instead was an hour of separation and emotions that can't be articulated.

As we--both Mister and me--prepare for the arrival of baby Massie #2, we've done and read and prepared all that we can for a VBAC. I read articles. I ask questions. I lay in bed imagining, preparing, hoping for such a delivery. With each passing day, and now with each passing hour, I think about being in the hospital and welcoming the arrival of our little one. And oh how I long to be the first to hold this babe. How I long to be able to snuggle the sweet bundle moments after birth versus being strapped down and only able to stretch my neck and strain my eyes to see my little one.

Many people don't get it. "Healthy baby, healthy mom. That's what really matters." I can't tell you how many times I've heard friends, family, and even strangers make this comment. Usually I smile, nod, and then have a conversation with myself about how I loathed my emotions--ones that only can be understood if they are experienced--so much after Ainsley's birth that avoiding them is of high priority.

Only time will tell. And while I wish I knew how much time it's going to take to tell, I'm trying my darnest to soak up every moment as a family of three. Every everything may be our last as we currently know it, and I don't want to overlook these precious moments, looking ahead to the moment when things get real!

Update through Photos

There's been quite the time since I last posted, but that doesn't mean a lot of life hasn't happened! So for an quick update to bring the blog world up to speed, photos from the past 5ish months!

August 2012

 The Best Time of the Year--Allen County Fair

 Sassy Sondra modeling her Guys & Gals Lead outfit that Aunt Sara made for her.

Right before she stuck out her tongue then was too embarrassed to finish!

Ainsley's 1st Birthday Party 

She certainly wasn't shy digging into the delicious cake Grandma Massie made for her!

September 2012

Clum Family Gathering in Bellefontaine

Running and diving on a mattress with Stu and Sondra--It's so much fun to see how much you love interacting with other kids!

Train ride at Bellefontaine Lodge--Riding with Jacob

 October 2012

Half Marathon with Momma-Cita & Mister

All smiles BEFORE the run! After the run was more of a straight-faced hobble for me!

Trick-or-Treating At Otterbein

Three CrAzY kids!

Our Skeleton Family

 

President Obama came to my high school. This made for a crazy few days but was thankful to witness the madness!

November 2012

 We said goodbye to Grandma Clum as she was reunited with her husband and her Lord. It was the worst, yet best birthday present.

Ainsley first picture with Great-Grandma Clum

  Hot Chocolate 5k--Momma-cita's Birthday Gift

Trip to Chicago for Math Conference--This was our first time that both Mister and I were away from Ainsley overnight. 

We went ice-skating for the first time. [Isn't that what every 6 month pregnant lady does?!]

No falls! All smiles! Millennium Park

December 2012

We met Miss Piper McCracken. Ainsley absolutely loved the precious little baby! It made us more excited for the arrival of our little bundle!

Kisses for Piper

Ains LOVED holding Piper!

Cheese Party--We hosted a cheese party at our house! We had friends over with lots of cheesey food, wore cheesey aka ugly Christmas attire, and played Cheeseopardy aka cheeseo-themed Jeopardy.

 

I painted Ainsley's fingernails for the first time! It made her seem like a little lady, instantly!

Christmas Morning

Christmas morning we had to torture you awake for presents!

"Cheese" face!

She did great opening presents until she opened a book--then all she wanted to do it read.

Motorcycle Momma like Grandmomma-cita!

One of Ainsley's common faces--I <3 br="br" it="it">

Nephews became animals for Christmas

 Visit with high school friends--Ange and Britney. Crazy that we all have at least one babe now!

Angela's Jillian; Britney's Emma; and my ham!

 Clum Family Christmas

Part of the Crazy Clum Great Grandkids

Play cards with Gabe

 Helping Papa put together our new *double* stroller

Crazy hair!

 January 2013

33 Weeks Pregnant & 16 months ornery!

Monkey

 Perhaps I'll work on consistent updating now!