Jacoby Joshua Massie was welcomed into the world via VBAC at 2:28pm on Thursday, March 7th, 2013. He weighed 9 pounds, 4 ounces and was 21 1/4 inches long.
After my doctor's appointment on Wednesday, I was excited about the news that while I was still 3 cm dialated, I had made progress in every other area: more effaced, cervix was no longer posterior but "mid", and my bag of waters was "bulging". This was exciting for me, but at the same time, since I had taken Ainsley to the doc that morning and ended up with 2 prescriptions and a breathing machine, and Mister went to Urgent Care to get a script for bronchitis, I just wanted my little family to get healthy so that we could prepare for the arrival of Baby Massie. I had no idea how soon we'd be welcoming him!
I woke at 4am on Thursday needing to go to the bathroom. This was nothing out of the ordinary for the past few weeks. After doing my business, I climbed back in bed with Mister and Ains. A few minutes later, back on the porcelain throne. From 4-5am, I was back and forth, back and forth. Chris woke during one of my returns, asking if I needed anything, but all I needed was to not have to have to constantly sit on the throne!!
At 5am, I found myself on the couch. I no longer felt the constant urge to go to the bathroom, but I did have period like cramps. From 5 to 6, I had about four of these period like cramps. They lasted for a few minutes at a time and weren't painful, but definitely uncomfortable. After the second one, I realized they were likely contractions, but still nothing that I was getting too excited about. I mean they were only uncomfortable, and perhaps it was just false labor.
At 6am, I figured it was time to start getting ready for school by straightening my hair. I figured if I continued about my day, I'd be able to differentiate between discomforts of perhaps false labor and if it was maybe the real deal. While straightening my hair I had to pause a couple times because of discomfort. After my hair was done, I decided I wasn't going to school that day. Even if this wasn't the real deal, I didn't feel like having to make "pauses" throughout the day in front of a class full of high schoolers. As I climbed back in bed and unsuccessfully tried to get comfortable [especially during the
"I don't know, when things get real?!"
By this time, deep down I knew things were already getting real, but didn't want to get my hopes up as it was nearly 24 hours after my water broke with Ains before she was in my arms.
About 7am we were both out of bed, Chris had called his boss and said he wasn't coming in and my contractions were any where from 5 to 12 minutes apart. I was instructed to head to the hospital upon my water breaking or if I had regular contractions, 7 minutes apart. We decided we'd continue to wait it out at home, allowing Ainsley to sleep in before going out to Chris' parents'. No need to wake her up early if we were just going to be hanging out at home all morning.
Just before 8am, as I found myself stopping in my tracks with every contraction focusing on riding it out, I decided that whole "let Ainsley sleep in" idea was a bad idea! "Chris, let's wake Ainsley! I don't think I can wait for her to wake on her own." Chris sent a message to his parents saying we were going to be bringing Ainsley out. A few minutes later, Chris' dad was on his way to pick up Ains.
I was relieved.
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| Last pic as a family of three! |
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| A quick pic [between contractions] before heading to the hospital! |
Just before 9am we headed to the hospital. A contraction as I tried to get into the car and another right as we were arriving. As we headed to the 5th floor, I buzzed into the Labor & Delivery wing, "Can we help you?"
"Uh, yes, I'm in labor..." As the door opens, I turn to Mister, "at least I better be!!"
We got all checked in, and then Nurse Judy checked me: 4 cm and bulging bag of waters. A bit of progress since the appointment the day before. Now at this time, I was having a bit of tension. I was afraid that this may not be it. I mean my water broke first with Ainsley, so why wouldn't it have broken already if it was time for true labor. But just like I had text my Momma-cita eariler, if this wasn't the real deal, I was doomed!
Over the next couple of hours, my contractions became more steady usually with an intense one quickly followed by one that wasn't quite as intense. They progressed from "Focus! Focus! Focus! Just breathe through it Rachel!" to "This hurts! Ahh, this hurts! Ahh, ahh, it's over!" By 11:30am, I had asked Nurse Judy a couple of times, "Now if I were to get an epidural, do you think it'd up my chances of a c-section?!" Each time I was told that it could but not necessarily. Judy said there were other options, like staydol but after my experience with Ainsley, I said HECK NO!!
So she suggested getting out of bed and try sitting in the rocking chair and rocking through each contraction. I knew that Dr. Bradley should be over about noon or so during his lunch to check on me and likely to break my water, so that was a goal--just make it until noon!!
I only made it one contraction in the rocking chair before I was back in bed and getting checked. I asked him what was so pressing on my mind--soooo, will that epidural up my chances of a c-section?! I didn't really get an answer but he grabbed the big ol' crochet hook and broke my water. "Ahh, just like peeing!!" and more pee and more pee! After he broke my water, he checked me, said I was at 8 cm [holy cow! 4 cm in just a couple of hours!!] and said he was headed to get a bite to eat but would be in the hospital.
I moaned, breathed, squeezed the bed rails during each contraction, shoving ice chips in my mouth like it was my job. I was uncomfortable. I was in pain. I was getting a bit more demanding of Mister--hold my hand, don't hold my hand, push on my back, don't push on my back, ICE NOW!! I was doing it, but I didn't know if I could do it.
Dr. Bradley returned with coffee in hand sitting in the rocking chair in my room. He informed my that once his coffee was gone, he'd check me again, attached an internal fetal monitor to the baby and returned to the rocking chair. I recall asking again, are you sure there's nothing I can get?!
"A margarita?!"
"If you've got strawberry, hook me up!!"
"Ah, sorry. All out of strawberry. Guess there's nothing for you!"
Because of the pain, I was really doubting if I could do this. Based on previous experience, I labored with true contractions for 6 hours. I just didn't know if I could last another 4 hours like this! [Dr. Bradley continued to hang out in my room through the arrival of our lil' one. While I appreciated this because last time I felt like my OB was absent, there were times I really wish he weren't there. Like when he was on his cell phone, and I was grimacing through contractions--I swear he was probably playing Words with Friends or something--or when he was checking me during contractions--I really wanted to just kick him in the head!!]
Shortly there after, I was told if I felt like I needed to push, it was time to start pushing. A few contractions later, I decided it was time to push. I didn't know if I felt like I needed to but I certainly wanted to because I wanted this baby to get here.
Over the course of the next hour or so, I pushed with nearly every contraction with Chris and Judy by my side counting to ten and encouraging me that I was doing well. There were a couple glimpses of labor humor as I "Welp! I jut crapped!" but overall, I was feeling a little discouraged. I didn't feel like I was doing well. I didn't know if I was make progress. I didn't know if the baby was any closer to its arrival. I didn't know if I could do it. During this time, I had a major meltdown. I can't do this! It hurts too much, this baby isn't coming! Dr. Bradley responded "too late" when I said I needed something. I could tell it was hard for Chris to encourage me as he knew I was in great pain. It hurt to keep my legs in the pushing position. I wanted to stop because my hips hurt. I wanted to push because I knew it'd be better. I can't do this, but I continued on.
Sometime in this time, Dr. Bradley gave me two shots in my who-ha of some sort of numbing agent--think the pinch, burning like when getting a cavity filled. He said he thought I was going to "need some extra room". [I'm not 100% sure what it was. Something in the 'caine' family of numbing agents I think, but later the nurses said it was something that Dr. Bradley is one of the very few that use it.]
About 2pm, things started to get a lot more busy in the room. I could tell prepping was happening, but I still didn't know how long I had until the arrival of our lil' one.
I think this was one of the hardest parts about the labor--well except the contractions of course!--I feel like I never really knew where I was at in the whole process. I assumed since more activity was going on, I had to be getting close, but I didn't know this. I was told I was doing great, but in the back of my mind, I thought I was afraid I wasn't and that this labor too would end in a c-section: my worst fear for the past 9 months!
Dr. Bradley then said he was trying to help me get the baby positioned correctly as it was posterior. [Later I found out the he wasn't just posterior, but was quite twisted up in there.] As he did this, he also said he was going to use a vacuum to help pull the baby down. I think this added to the uncertainty of my progress. Because of the added pressure of the vacuum, it was difficult for me to feel where the baby was and if I was getting close. [I guess I assume Mommas can feel the location by the added pressure as I don't know for sure.]
About a quarter after two came my second major meltdown! After a particularly painful pushing through a contraction, I began crying uncontrollably, shaking my head, "I can't do this! I can't! I can't! It's not going to happen!" Judy tried to calm me and grabbed the oxygen mask. Dr. Bradley encouraged that I was indeed doing it. Chris held my hand and without saying anything, told me I had all his support and the choice was mine.
I wanted to give up. What the heck was I thinking? Why on earth did I dream of experiencing this since the day Ainsley was born? No wonder women say, just schedule a c-section. I can't do it. No, I have to do it. I want to do it!
I regrouped. Got myself together and continued to push with everything I had in me.
I'm not sure how many pushes/contractions later it was, but all of a sudden, Dr. Bradley declared, "The head is out."
"The baby's head is out?! We did it!! I did it!!"
I was reminded the job wasn't done yet, but I didn't care. "If the head's out, the rest of the baby has to come this way! I did it!"
And then, what seemed to be "just like that", Dr. Bradley laid our baby on my chest!
I spread the little legs, "It's a boy!" and looked into Chris' tear-filled eyes, "we have Jacoby!"
Kisses and snuggles and happiness and "I did its!" and "We did its!" and "Thank yous!" [to Dr. Bradley & Judy for believing in me] filled the next several minutes.
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| I seriously couldn't have done it without these 3 men! |
Oh, and Jacoby showing us that his plumbing worked just fine as he laid on my chest! He was cleaned up. I was sown up. Vitals were taken "9 lbs. 4 oz. 21 1/4 inches"!
I looked at Dr. Bradley who had estimated a 7.5-8 lb. baby the day before, and with sweat on his brow, smirked saying, good thing we didn't know that or he wasn't sure we'd gone this [VBAC] route!
"But he fit! But we did it!!!" It is no exaggeration that I had dreamed of a VBAC since the very day of Ainsley's birth. I don't know the number of hours that I have spent dreaming, visualizing, thinking about, worrying about having a VBAC. Some may never understand. Some may think I am/was nuts for having such desire. [Shoot! I did about 15 minutes before successfully having a VBAC!]
But this was one of the most proudest moments of my life.
Everything seemed perfect! Jacoby Joshua was the most handsome, albeit hairy, little man I had ever seen! He nursed like a champ!
All was right in the world!
The rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say, is to come in Jacoby's 1 week letter.
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