A trip home

10 years ago.

Laying backwards in my bed. Trying to catch up on my assigned The Hiding Place reading for Mrs. McMichael’s class the next morning.

My mom comes to my room and shares news about my classmate. I shook my head trying to clear the confusion and shake back to reality. She said the same thing, again.

It couldn’t be true.

I went next door to my friend’s house to confirm the news.

It was true.

I went to Spencerville today and my mind flashed back to that night ten years ago—the night that my classmates and I grew up and closer as we mourned the loss of a friend.

I thought about the lessons we learned and the memories we shared. I thought about what seemed so important then and what matters now. Being a high school teacher, I feel as I’m in a bit of a unique position to watch that cycle play over and over again. My student’s experiences are so incredibly different than my experiences. In so many ways, I wish for my students to have my experiences. Today, I think I realized why.

Friday nights dressed ridiculously in order to support the best team, even if that meant we lost.

Life lessons in Calculus that began with, “When you’re in college, friends are going to come and ask you to go out for root beer and…”

Dressing up for every basketball game, never passing but always handing off the ball to the ref, and striving to create a repetition of a class act.

Reciting commitments to “Make the best better” and “…pledge my head to clearer thinking, my heart to greater loyalty, my hands to larger service, and my health to better living, for my club, my community, my country and my world.“

While that only scratches the surface of what flooded my mind as I drove back to Lima today, I realized the building blocks of my foundation. It was more than team spirit and clubs. It was life lessons. Lessons that impact my life.

I don’t know that those teachers and leaders knew then when they shared stories or managed their classrooms how often tidbits flash before me still now 10+ years later. But they do. They are an inner voice. A reminder. A goal to strive for.

I guess that’s what brings me back to my students. It has been a trying year. A very trying year. One class period makes me want to quit my job nearly daily. A combination of that and upperclassmen making “next step” decisions, I’ve been asked a lot, “Why did you become a high school teacher anyway?!” In many moments I want to respond, “I don’t even know.”

But today, I was reminded.

I want to be a part of the building block foundation for my students’ lives. I want them to know that they are cared for. I want them to know what it means to be passionate and committed, even if that happens in the 53 minutes they are in my class each day. I want them to know that they are a part of something bigger.

I want it to be 5 or 10 years later and they make the right decision because of an inner voice, a reminder, a goal, a lesson from my classroom. 

Why I love [and currently miss] PA!

So I was planning on writing this about a week or so ago, but with all the snow and what not and break from school I haven't had time to type it up. That's a lie! I have had PLENTY of time to do a lot of productive things, I just have chosen not too. I am lazy lately. I accept that!

What I wanted to put on here were some "humorous" reasons why I love my job at Lima Senior Progressive Academy aka PA! Overall it can be summed up into 2 reasons:

1. I feel as if I am truly able to make a difference.

2. I never know what is going to happen from day to day!

For this post, I'll focus on the latter. Each morning I head to class with a mind set of what I am going to do that day, but what I don't know is what my students are going to do/say. This makes it so. much. fun! As a teacher I feel like I have two options in response to this: 1. I can embrace it and get a kick out of it or 2. I can get upset and expect them to behave/say/do what happens at "other schools". I choose the first   options especially because I love how honest and real they are. No masks here!

So below is a few quick examples of embracing humor instead of reprimanding "misbehavior":

The students were asked to find x. Perhaps from here on out I should put "solve for x"! : )

This obviously had nothing to do with their geometry problem.

Brutal honesty!

I have one more story, but remember that previous post about being cautious about what I write on here because I never know who might read it?? Well that comes into play here are well. Let's just say that with one of my classes if I need to remind them to get on task all I do is remind them that I am a pimp and they are my hoes. It was their idea really! Ask me about that one in person! ; )

Well I am going to sign off for today and perhaps be productive! I look forward to getting back to school with all my crazy students and hopefully they look forward to this crazy teacher again too! I like days off but not ones that I am not able to be out and about! I'm thinking we *may* be delayed tomorrow as well. The windchill is supposed to be -17... Yikes!

Finally. *sigh*

Over the course of the past 3 months I have started a post in my mind countless times. I have a thought, experience or conversation that results in "I should write about that" running through my mind. On one occasion I even spent 45 minutes writing a post that never was published because it was never saved. [That's what happens when I'd rather spend time with my husband that on the computer and my computer has a janky battery that dies. Drats!]

Despite all that, an update that encompasses most of the "blog ideas" I failed to type is finally here.

Tomorrow marks the end of week 3 [3 weeks?! Already?! Holy cow!] at Lima Senior. Each week has only been a 4 day week for the students, but I don't think the transition next week to a full 5-day week won't be much different. So the question that lingers, 'How is it?!' And my response to that 'Great!' After doing my student teaching there, I knew I wanted to be on staff full time, but the past 3 weeks has truly exceeded my expectations. So far [*knock on wood*] it has been easier and better than my student teaching experience--which is a pretty big statement.

Reasons why Lima Senior Progressive Academy has my heart:

-No Barbies There: There are "fakes" in every community, but when it comes to my students it's hard to find one. They share what they think. They aren't there to impress me. And if they want something known, they say it. I love this about my students! Some of the conversations that I have the privilege of sharing with my students are ones that could have with students else where and the story is the same, but they are conversations that other students shy away from for one reason or another. This leads to an additional reason PA has my heart...

-You Learn Something New Everyday: Of course I hope that my students are learning something new everyday that has to do with mathematics, but I learn something new everyday as well. This too comes from the students. Many of their lives are so, so much different from my white picket fence upbringing [which I am of course very thankful for for countless reasons] so I can learn so much from them. I hope that they are learning something about life from me as well. But I know that all I can do is live a worthy life and live an open life to absorb as much as I can from others. Some of my students' life stories are ones that I couldn't have imagined and to learn and be encouraged by them is rewarding.

-Living Life on Purpose: We all like to have purpose, I am not special in that, but one thing that I have recognized [although it has been true as long as I can remember I just didn't know it] is that I like to be needed. Call it prideful if you'd like, but regardless I like to feel needed. [Flashback: This was even true when I was in late elementary/early junior high when I would be babysitting either with the parent still there or on my own and if the baby would begin to fall asleep I would do something to keep that babe awake... take away the pacifier, uncover to make chilly, play with their feet, etc. Of course it was nothing that was harmful and I have grown out of this so momma's don't worry about me being near your children! But I would do this because I needed to feel needed by that baby.] So another reason I am PA is because I feel like I am needed for a purpose there, which is twofold. Students need to learn math and understand it in a way that they can apply it outside the fours walls of my classroom but the other fold is personally. I have had 3 students who have chatted with me in a way that I know they have talked with other teachers [I know this because they tell me so ;)]. Some conversations are light-hearted and others more serious, but the great part is that they happen!

Of course I want to be known as a teacher who teaches her content, but on some levels, more importantly I want to be known as a teacher who truly cares for her students. I'm working on it!

*Within the next week [I work better with deadlines] I will retype and post the post I can nearly finished when my computer died. You can loosely hold me to that! ;) *