Remember this post by chance?!
Well let's just say history repeats itself.
Yesterday. 3:40 appointment. High blood pressure [150something over somthing.]
10 minutes of laying day and "relaxing thoughts".
147/something.
Not a single other thing is odd or off, but my blood pressure to way to high for my normal.
Doc comes in checks everything out, says that I'm not even dilated [but remember this from last week?!] How does that even happen?!?!
Off to the hospital.
Momma-cita meets me there and Mister joins after work.
Hospital gown? Check.
Pee in a cup? Check.
Monitors? Check.
Blood pressure reading? 122 over something. [Which is normal enough for me!]
Starving because it'd been 7+ hours since I had eaten? CHECK!!
We had to wait for all the lab results to get back and my blood pressure was read every 15 minutes [usually at about 112 over something], which took about 3 hours to do.
So 3 hours later I was discharged with a "take it easy, drink plenty of water and hopefully we'll see you soon to deliver that baby!"
Oh and I had the nurse check me before I left, because I was completely baffled how I went from 1 cm to 3 cm the next week and then completely closed the following week. The result? I am still 3 cm. My doc just didn't "look around" enough. Since I'm still super posterior and it's baby number two, the nurse said it can take more effort that a quick check. Whew! I was hoping that super cold weather last week didn't have such effect on me! ;)
Wednesday, February 27
Saturday, February 23
Great Anticipation
Had you asked me Wednesday at 3:30 how I was feeling about this pregnancy and the arrival of sweet babe Massie, I would have confidently responded, "I'm not getting excited [aka not thinking it's going to happen] for another 2 weeks!"
You see, Ainsley's due date was August 22nd with an adjusted ultrasound due date of August 25th. My water broke on the morning on August 26th and she was welcomed into the world in the wee hours of August 27th.
With this lil one, my original due date is March 2nd. My ultrasound due date is March 9th. So I've kind of clung to a March 6th due date. Just trying to not get anxious or really think that the babe will arrive before then.
But then I had a 3:30 appointment on Wednesday.
When my doc checked my progress, he made a face [which is normal for his expressive self] and while I expected to hear that I had not made any additional progress from my appt just 5 days prior, he announced that I was 3 cm dilated! [This is compared to 1 cm on Friday.] Suddenly excitement and anticipation set in. By no means am/was I naive enough to think we needed to head to the hospital, but something about that progress gave me great anticipation for the coming days. Perhaps it won't be March 6th or later.
Or maybe it will.
With Ains, the first "sign" of labor was waking to my water breaking that Friday morning. I thought for sure I wouldn't be a part of 10% of ladies that their labors start in such way, but I was. And now, as I wake a couple times a night to reposition or going to the bathroom, I find myself wondering, hoping, and then disappointed that it was simply discomfort or "only pee" in the toilet that woke me. Then it's drifting back to sleep wondering if it'll be another day or another two weeks until that twinge I feel is really "it".
Of course I am extremely excited to finally meet lil' Massie. To know if lil' Massie is Jacoby Joshua or _______ _______. I'm excited to kiss a teeny-tiny nose, be amazed by 10 tiny toes and 10 tiny fingers. I'm excited to experience falling in love all over again. To watch Mister fall in love all over again. To see how Ainsley handles her new role as big sister. To see if she wants to hold this baby as much as she wants to hold every baby she sees in a picture.
I have great anticipation for each of these wonderful things.
I also have great anticipation as I think about how lil' Massie will enter this world. Avoiding a delivery like Ainsley's is extremely important to me. She arrive healthy and so I was I after her delivery, but it just wasn't what I wanted. I still struggle with questions of what if and wondering if I was pressured into what wasn't necessary. What was supposed to be moments of euphoric emotions and connecting with my precious little princess, instead was an hour of separation and emotions that can't be articulated.
As we--both Mister and me--prepare for the arrival of baby Massie #2, we've done and read and prepared all that we can for a VBAC. I read articles. I ask questions. I lay in bed imagining, preparing, hoping for such a delivery. With each passing day, and now with each passing hour, I think about being in the hospital and welcoming the arrival of our little one. And oh how I long to be the first to hold this babe. How I long to be able to snuggle the sweet bundle moments after birth versus being strapped down and only able to stretch my neck and strain my eyes to see my little one.
Many people don't get it. "Healthy baby, healthy mom. That's what really matters." I can't tell you how many times I've heard friends, family, and even strangers make this comment. Usually I smile, nod, and then have a conversation with myself about how I loathed my emotions--ones that only can be understood if they are experienced--so much after Ainsley's birth that avoiding them is of high priority.
Only time will tell. And while I wish I knew how much time it's going to take to tell, I'm trying my darnest to soak up every moment as a family of three. Every everything may be our last as we currently know it, and I don't want to overlook these precious moments, looking ahead to the moment when things get real!
You see, Ainsley's due date was August 22nd with an adjusted ultrasound due date of August 25th. My water broke on the morning on August 26th and she was welcomed into the world in the wee hours of August 27th.
With this lil one, my original due date is March 2nd. My ultrasound due date is March 9th. So I've kind of clung to a March 6th due date. Just trying to not get anxious or really think that the babe will arrive before then.
But then I had a 3:30 appointment on Wednesday.
When my doc checked my progress, he made a face [which is normal for his expressive self] and while I expected to hear that I had not made any additional progress from my appt just 5 days prior, he announced that I was 3 cm dilated! [This is compared to 1 cm on Friday.] Suddenly excitement and anticipation set in. By no means am/was I naive enough to think we needed to head to the hospital, but something about that progress gave me great anticipation for the coming days. Perhaps it won't be March 6th or later.
Or maybe it will.
With Ains, the first "sign" of labor was waking to my water breaking that Friday morning. I thought for sure I wouldn't be a part of 10% of ladies that their labors start in such way, but I was. And now, as I wake a couple times a night to reposition or going to the bathroom, I find myself wondering, hoping, and then disappointed that it was simply discomfort or "only pee" in the toilet that woke me. Then it's drifting back to sleep wondering if it'll be another day or another two weeks until that twinge I feel is really "it".
Of course I am extremely excited to finally meet lil' Massie. To know if lil' Massie is Jacoby Joshua or _______ _______. I'm excited to kiss a teeny-tiny nose, be amazed by 10 tiny toes and 10 tiny fingers. I'm excited to experience falling in love all over again. To watch Mister fall in love all over again. To see how Ainsley handles her new role as big sister. To see if she wants to hold this baby as much as she wants to hold every baby she sees in a picture.
I have great anticipation for each of these wonderful things.
I also have great anticipation as I think about how lil' Massie will enter this world. Avoiding a delivery like Ainsley's is extremely important to me. She arrive healthy and so I was I after her delivery, but it just wasn't what I wanted. I still struggle with questions of what if and wondering if I was pressured into what wasn't necessary. What was supposed to be moments of euphoric emotions and connecting with my precious little princess, instead was an hour of separation and emotions that can't be articulated.
As we--both Mister and me--prepare for the arrival of baby Massie #2, we've done and read and prepared all that we can for a VBAC. I read articles. I ask questions. I lay in bed imagining, preparing, hoping for such a delivery. With each passing day, and now with each passing hour, I think about being in the hospital and welcoming the arrival of our little one. And oh how I long to be the first to hold this babe. How I long to be able to snuggle the sweet bundle moments after birth versus being strapped down and only able to stretch my neck and strain my eyes to see my little one.
Many people don't get it. "Healthy baby, healthy mom. That's what really matters." I can't tell you how many times I've heard friends, family, and even strangers make this comment. Usually I smile, nod, and then have a conversation with myself about how I loathed my emotions--ones that only can be understood if they are experienced--so much after Ainsley's birth that avoiding them is of high priority.
Only time will tell. And while I wish I knew how much time it's going to take to tell, I'm trying my darnest to soak up every moment as a family of three. Every everything may be our last as we currently know it, and I don't want to overlook these precious moments, looking ahead to the moment when things get real!
Sunday, January 27
Baby Dos
Since I had quite the hiatus from blogging during oh 75% of the pregnancy, it's probably beyond time to collect my thoughts and put the pen to the paper so to speak so I remember them in 5 years when this stage becomes a blur.
Finding Out
To back track way to the beginning, about a year ago I started charting my basal temp in order to learn more about my body. A good friend of mine had been doing this and using it as birth control for a while and then in hopes to better their chances of getting pregnant and they were very successful on both ends! I guess I should say, I decided to do this once I learned you didn't have to take the temp in you who-ha! I don't know where I got that idea from, but I was not about to do it!
Anyways.
I did great charting through the first week of June, but then while we were away with my family at the Warrior Dash, I lost my thermometer and never remembered to spend the four bucks and pick up another one at Meijer. During the second week or so of June though, I knew I was pregnant. It wasn't the lack of the monthly visitor or a second line on the pee stick that caused me to think this, but rather I experienced some dizziness. The first time, I didn't think too much of it, as I hadn't eaten much that day and it felt like a drop in blood sugar kind of dizziness. A few grapes later and relaxing on the couch and I felt fine. Then it happened two other times. I told Chris "I think I may be pregnant." Within a couple of days, I took a test which came back negative, but I followed up sharing those results with Mister saying, "But it can still be wrong, I think it's just too early for the test to pick it up."
Sure, enough on Friday, June 29th after we picked up a new queen size mattress [we had upgraded from a double that a single person slept in before so the three of us would all roll to the middle], Mister, Ainsley, and I were laying on our new mattress, enjoying the added space and I asked,
"So you think there is enough room for four of us on here?!" :)
"Wait, what?! Are you trying to tell me something?!"
Yes, Baby Massie #2 was on his or her way and forever on our minds from that June morning.
Doctors
Naturally, I called the doc that I had with Ainsley, set up my appointment and confirmed everything a couple of weeks later. A few things didn't sit right with me after the first couple appointments and I decided then that I was going to go to a different doctor.
Ainsley was born healthy and happy and has been ever since which of course is the number one priority, but in hindsight, I have a lot of hard feelings to the way my doc handled somethings and I decided it wasn't worth going through it again. The biggest motivator in wanting to switch was that I did not want to have to have another c-section to which my old doc replied that we'd continue to talk about it and if I have a little baby--6 or so pounds--we can pursue it. That lip service was enough to send me away as I don't know that Clums or Massies are capable of producing that size of baby's--especially us together! ;)
So I began to ask around and do some research to find a new provider. After some honest and real advice from a family friend who is an OB nurse, we decided on a doctor and have been extremely pleased with our switch!
We commonly leave our appointments laughing after a wisecrack and not once have we felt like he has had any hidden agenda of his own. The honesty and openness that we have received makes me confident, not only in our switch, but also that if I do end up with a c-section, that it truly is in our best interest and not simply in the interest of convenience of a doctor!
Pregnancy
This pregnancy has been just as easy as my pregnancy with Ainsley. I have had zero symptoms, outside of the initial dizziness, and most days I forgot I was pregnant. For my first pregnancy, I think we dwelt on it much more as it was the focus and anticipation of so much, but with this one, we have very much been caught up in treasuring Ainsley's milestones that the pregnancy has been on a back burner. In many ways, I think that has made this one go quickly though.
Prior to getting pregnant with Ainsley, we compromised that we'd find out the gender of the first baby, but after that let it be a surprise. Well we all know about herstubbornness modesty, so we decided all the babies' gender would be a surprise until birth. So that leaves us with the guessing game.
Initially, I thought "boy" just because this baby moves so.much.more. than Ainsley did. And when the babe moves, it moves! I feel its toes around my ribs and its head in my hips. I do'nt feel like it's higher or lower, just much more active.
More recently, I've been leaning towards girl though. I'm not sure the exact change in heart. Perhaps it's because beyond the added movement, it doesn't "feel" that different. Perhaps it's because as I looked back on Ainsley's vital stats when I was at this point in the pregnancy with her, her numbers were exactly the same as this baby's. Perhaps because the baby looked like a girl in the ultrasound, and I didn't see any extra parts--although Mister thinks the baby "looked" like a boy and the tech didn't spend time searching for the anatomy that'd make the reveal. And the biggest reason I think this baby is a girl?
We don't have a name for her if she's a girl!
I feel like it'd be "just my luck". I recall a coworker who told me they couldn't decide on her daughter name so her social security card read "Girl _____" [last name]. Perhaps we'll have a "Girl Massie" if we don't make a decision in the next few weeks.
Nevertheless, here we are about 4-5 weeks out and I'm very much looking forward to the birth of this baby. Of course, I'm looking forward to meeting the one who has contorted my stomach in so many different ways for the past months, but I'm also very much looking forward to the labor and actual birth. Mister and I have been doing a lot of reading and I feel so much better prepared for what's to come. I feel like I have a doctor who is actually in my corner and I look forward to a birth that doesn't leave me questioning and disconnected as I was with Ainsley.
So here we are. Looking forward to whenever this little one decides to make an entrance into the world which will likely be sometime during the first week of March. [Original due date is March 2nd, adjusted due date based on early ultrasound is March 9th, and based on the baby's current size, the due date "should" be February 22nd.] And in these last few weeks, I'll be busy lesson planning, dreaming about your birth and soaking in every moment, cherishing our family of three before all of our lives are dramatically changed for the better!
Finding Out
To back track way to the beginning, about a year ago I started charting my basal temp in order to learn more about my body. A good friend of mine had been doing this and using it as birth control for a while and then in hopes to better their chances of getting pregnant and they were very successful on both ends! I guess I should say, I decided to do this once I learned you didn't have to take the temp in you who-ha! I don't know where I got that idea from, but I was not about to do it!
Anyways.
I did great charting through the first week of June, but then while we were away with my family at the Warrior Dash, I lost my thermometer and never remembered to spend the four bucks and pick up another one at Meijer. During the second week or so of June though, I knew I was pregnant. It wasn't the lack of the monthly visitor or a second line on the pee stick that caused me to think this, but rather I experienced some dizziness. The first time, I didn't think too much of it, as I hadn't eaten much that day and it felt like a drop in blood sugar kind of dizziness. A few grapes later and relaxing on the couch and I felt fine. Then it happened two other times. I told Chris "I think I may be pregnant." Within a couple of days, I took a test which came back negative, but I followed up sharing those results with Mister saying, "But it can still be wrong, I think it's just too early for the test to pick it up."
Sure, enough on Friday, June 29th after we picked up a new queen size mattress [we had upgraded from a double that a single person slept in before so the three of us would all roll to the middle], Mister, Ainsley, and I were laying on our new mattress, enjoying the added space and I asked,
"So you think there is enough room for four of us on here?!" :)
"Wait, what?! Are you trying to tell me something?!"
Yes, Baby Massie #2 was on his or her way and forever on our minds from that June morning.
Doctors
Naturally, I called the doc that I had with Ainsley, set up my appointment and confirmed everything a couple of weeks later. A few things didn't sit right with me after the first couple appointments and I decided then that I was going to go to a different doctor.
Ainsley was born healthy and happy and has been ever since which of course is the number one priority, but in hindsight, I have a lot of hard feelings to the way my doc handled somethings and I decided it wasn't worth going through it again. The biggest motivator in wanting to switch was that I did not want to have to have another c-section to which my old doc replied that we'd continue to talk about it and if I have a little baby--6 or so pounds--we can pursue it. That lip service was enough to send me away as I don't know that Clums or Massies are capable of producing that size of baby's--especially us together! ;)
So I began to ask around and do some research to find a new provider. After some honest and real advice from a family friend who is an OB nurse, we decided on a doctor and have been extremely pleased with our switch!
We commonly leave our appointments laughing after a wisecrack and not once have we felt like he has had any hidden agenda of his own. The honesty and openness that we have received makes me confident, not only in our switch, but also that if I do end up with a c-section, that it truly is in our best interest and not simply in the interest of convenience of a doctor!
Pregnancy
This pregnancy has been just as easy as my pregnancy with Ainsley. I have had zero symptoms, outside of the initial dizziness, and most days I forgot I was pregnant. For my first pregnancy, I think we dwelt on it much more as it was the focus and anticipation of so much, but with this one, we have very much been caught up in treasuring Ainsley's milestones that the pregnancy has been on a back burner. In many ways, I think that has made this one go quickly though.
Prior to getting pregnant with Ainsley, we compromised that we'd find out the gender of the first baby, but after that let it be a surprise. Well we all know about her
Initially, I thought "boy" just because this baby moves so.much.more. than Ainsley did. And when the babe moves, it moves! I feel its toes around my ribs and its head in my hips. I do'nt feel like it's higher or lower, just much more active.
More recently, I've been leaning towards girl though. I'm not sure the exact change in heart. Perhaps it's because beyond the added movement, it doesn't "feel" that different. Perhaps it's because as I looked back on Ainsley's vital stats when I was at this point in the pregnancy with her, her numbers were exactly the same as this baby's. Perhaps because the baby looked like a girl in the ultrasound, and I didn't see any extra parts--although Mister thinks the baby "looked" like a boy and the tech didn't spend time searching for the anatomy that'd make the reveal. And the biggest reason I think this baby is a girl?
We don't have a name for her if she's a girl!
I feel like it'd be "just my luck". I recall a coworker who told me they couldn't decide on her daughter name so her social security card read "Girl _____" [last name]. Perhaps we'll have a "Girl Massie" if we don't make a decision in the next few weeks.
Nevertheless, here we are about 4-5 weeks out and I'm very much looking forward to the birth of this baby. Of course, I'm looking forward to meeting the one who has contorted my stomach in so many different ways for the past months, but I'm also very much looking forward to the labor and actual birth. Mister and I have been doing a lot of reading and I feel so much better prepared for what's to come. I feel like I have a doctor who is actually in my corner and I look forward to a birth that doesn't leave me questioning and disconnected as I was with Ainsley.
So here we are. Looking forward to whenever this little one decides to make an entrance into the world which will likely be sometime during the first week of March. [Original due date is March 2nd, adjusted due date based on early ultrasound is March 9th, and based on the baby's current size, the due date "should" be February 22nd.] And in these last few weeks, I'll be busy lesson planning, dreaming about your birth and soaking in every moment, cherishing our family of three before all of our lives are dramatically changed for the better!
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