Happy 2nd birthday, little lady! And what a little lady you are turning into--already! Someday when you're old enough and stumble upon this journal, you are going to read about how right "they" are.
They say time goes so fast.
They say cherish the moments.
They say you can't comprehend a mother's love.
They say that raising children can be tough, but oh so worth it.
And you know what, Pete? They are right.
Time goes so fast--how can I be the mother of a two year old?! A toddler?! A developing young lady with a personality that both takes my breath away and makes me cringe! (Usually only when you're mimicking me!)
I am cherishing the moments--because they'll slip right through our clasped hands if we don't. Life and circumstances will continue to evolve, and with that the day is coming when you will no longer beg to watch "Eenna", declare that Coby is AWAKE! until he finally is so that you can kiss and play with him, want to snuggle at bedtime after reading a stack and an half of books--twice. You're going to have your endless questions of "What's that?!", "Why?!" and "What's that noise?!" answered by someone else. So in the meantime, I'll explain life to you the best I can--even when I don't know exactly how the automatic flusher works exactly, I'll snuggle on your toddler mattress long after the first yawn of the night, and I'll allow my heart to be filled with joy as you fulfill your big sister role so well.
Sweet baby girl, you can't comprehend your momma's love for you. To say I love you to the moon and back would be an understatement. You are who made me a mother, and you are the one who is refining me as a mother. No matter how disappointed I try to pretend to be when you pee your pants two minutes after you say you don't have to go or when you get that look in your eye and deliberately disobey my instruction, Ainsley Jo, I could never love you less or be less proud to be your momma. One day--in many, many years--you'll make me a grandmomma and you'll begin to understand my love for you.
Raising you (and your brother) can be tough, but oh so worth it! I've only been at this gig for two years and I know I've made mistakes. There have been times I responded "no!" too quickly, cut story time too short, been upset too long, spent too much time on Pinterest, and didn't give myself 100% to the here and the now that will truly matter in the days to come. What seems like a perfect balance one day, is complete chaos the next. There have been nights of tears and shaking my head from a few feet away because I have to step away because as a mother, as your mother I have absolutely no idea how to meet your needs--how to love you and shape you and teach you and comfort you and discipline you into the person you were made to be.
But they are right.
Children are worth it.
Children are worth it.
You are worth it.
You make it worth it. Even at two, your personality and love has flooded my heart and added meaning to my life.
Happy 2nd Birthday, Princess! Keep on being you--because you are a beautiful creation!
Love,
Momma
Beautiful. Rachel, you inspire me so much! Your words are so deeply touching as a daughter and someone desiring to be a mother some day.
ReplyDeleteI miss your blogging, Rach! :) I re-read your post to Ains this morning and teared up again. You are such a great mom and friend. Love you!
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